The Dragon Prince's Consort

Forty

Fang helped Valen shower, washed his hair and combed it, then dabbed antiseptic on his split brow and lips with a clean cloth. She helped him get into the soft charcoal robe that was his favorite, the one she'd put on the night she'd come to the mountain so desperate for money she hadn't considered the risks. Afterwards Fang put on her green wrapper, the one she loved wearing around the suite because it was so unbelievably soft and warm. Valen took the medication Mayra had left, and though neither of them were really hungry Fang asked for two small meals to be brought to the suite. They ate in silence, Valen moving slowly so he wouldn't jar his wrist and Fang too wrung out to speak. She poured him another cup of warm tea and gathered the dishes, setting them in the hall before coming back to the couch and pushing her way back under his good arm and wrapping her arms around him.

"Trying to wear my robe again?" Valen yawned, the medicine beginning to do its work. "If I remember correctly, you looked very pretty in it."

Fang buried her face in the lapel. Please, don't do this. I almost lost you, don't make me think about what it was like before I knew you. It had been merely weeks since then, but thinking about the nights spent huddled under thin blankets and the days working for a few bok was so much worse now that there was an additional element missing. Sleeping with Drass men for money had paid some rent and for a few meals, but Fang could sleep with a hundred Drass and not feel what she had this morning. The thought of sleeping with any other Drass – or even a human – just seemed perverse now, like the idea itself meant she was betraying this sweet, giving young man who'd almost gotten himself destroyed for her.

"Fang?" Valen picked his arm up and tried to catch her eye. "Fang, what's wrong? I mean, I know you're upset, but it's over now, it's really over. You don't have to worry about Tias anymore."

"I'm not worried about Tias, flathead," Fang sniffed, "Tias can go pound snow. Did you ever think that somebody might worry about you?"

Valen's ears dropped and he looked genuinely baffled. "No...? Wait, I thought you were mad at me."

"I can be two things at the same time, shorthorns. Just... let me be mad, I'll get over it." And then I can focus on getting over you. Fang sniffed again, this time focusing on the scent of incense ash, charcoal, and minerals. As long as she lived Fang would associate the smell of fire and hot springs with him, the weight of silk robes and the sensation of fullness after a meal always bringing here here to this place, the warm rooms laid with thick rugs and furniture padded with plush cushions embroidered with golden designs. Not because of the things, but because she'd experienced them with him. Even as she tried to tell herself she'd eventually 'get over' her feelings, Fang saw how ridiculous the idea was – no matter where she went, no matter how far, there would be no getting over Valen.

Ashes, I am so screwed.

Nodding, Valen opened his mouth to speak but his words disappeared in a jaw-cracking yawn. "Ey-hyah!" He paused and shook his head. "I think I'm falling asleep sitting up. What time is it?"

Fang was exhausted too. "Who cares, let's go lie down." Though hardly a luxury these days, the thought of taking a midday nap on a full stomach next to a warm Drass still held the appeal of a good fire with a hot drink on a cold night. Perhaps after she rested she might be able to ignore the feeling in her chest like her sternum was slowly pulling itself apart and her ribs were squeezing her heart like cruel iron claws – would it hurt twice as much if she had two hearts like a Drass, or did Drass experience something different when their hearts were broken?

Fang pondered this as she coaxed Valen to bed, fussing over his pillows and settling down next to him as close as she dared; he favored his wrist with the skittishness of a young manyu and that made Fang's heart hurt. "Sorry," Valen apologized when he shied away from her as she tried to get comfortable, "I've never broken anything before."