The Dragon Prince's Consort

Forty-Four

They were on the move again, Valen rocking with the sway of Ika's steps as she made her way over the snowpack. Anun's spring was still weeks away, but already signs of the cold planet's seasonal warming presented themselves: freeze-resistant flowers grew in air pockets under shells of ice, blossoming in faint pinks and yellows; mosses and lichens clinging to the warmer sunny side of boulders sent out thread-fine tendrils tipped with tiny hairs covered in spores. Farther up the mountain housing the palace compound the peaks cloaked themselves in clouds of mist like a dancer in a silver-beaded shawl, while steam rose from Kitsara's magma-heated streets below and gave the capital city a soft, ethereal aura. Harsh as it was, Anun's rugged beauty matched its equally hardy people.

Valen wasn't feeling particularly hardy at this moment, though. Rather, his hearts kept stumbling and bumping into each other when he thought of Fang. Could she feel the same way about me as I do her? What if she thinks I don't love her, and she's living in dread of leaving? Should I ask her? Early on they'd promised to be honest with each other, but the chance of that honesty hurting one or both of them felt unbearably risky. If she loved him, that would be wonderful and nothing would have to change – Fang could stay with him, or go traveling under her new status as Lady Consort knowing she had something to come home to. If she didn't love him, though...

"You've gone quiet again," Benna commented. "I can hear your brain spinning, Your Grace."

"Sorry, Ben. I just... I don't know what to do. I don't know how she feels, so I don't know how – or if – I should tell her how I feel. How am I supposed to know if I can even tell her? If I just come out and say it, what if she laughs at me? Or worse, what if it makes her feel guilty?"

The Warden shrugged. "You know her best, how do you think she'll react? You're the one who's spent the most time with her, surely you can guess."

"I wish it was that easy. I've only known her a month, that's not enough time to truly know someone. You just said it took years for you to know if you loved Rodin, I don't think it's fair to expect less from Fang."

"You say you love her, and it's been the same amount of time for you."

Valen made a noise of misery. Benna was right – there was a chance that these feelings might be transient, that perhaps once all the excitement died down he might realize that they were merely the shadows of fear driving him to cling to Fang. And he knew how good of an actress Fang could be, it was equally possible that she was playing along with him to keep herself fed and warm. Are my feelings even real? Was I just so lonely I would accept anything? The attention Fang gave him, her apparent willingness to sleep with him and let him touch and kiss her, surely that would make any lonely person want to believe it was real. Am I just being delusional?

"Speaking of," Benna interrupted his thoughts, "while I believe what you're feeling is real, how do you know it's love?"

Valen stared down at the snow dusting the back of Ika's neck and the supple leather backing of his riding gloves. How do I know? When had he suddenly become so sure? "I... I care more about her than I do myself," he began, faltering occasionally. "I would do anything for her – I fought my brother for her, Tias could've killed me but I still did it. I'd give up everything for her, just to make sure she had whatever she needed."

"Those are nice things," Benna shrugged and a dusting of snow fell from her coat. "All men like to make big promises to the women they like, but very few actually follow through with them."

"But I can, though." Valen sat up straighter in the saddle. "I'm a Dragon Prince, my birthright gives me the power to make it happen – I took on the Baishin colony so I can prove to everyone that I can do this, and once I do I can set Fang free."