The Alpha's Mate

Chapter Fifteen

Branson Williams

Blood, everywhere.

I'm still covered in it, as we sit in the waiting room waiting for our parents. Xan tried to kill himself.

He cut deep, deep enough that he didn't heal right away. Deep enough to paint the bathroom red, so so much fucking blood.

He needs help, we knew this. We did. But I didn't think it would go this far, this deep. I knew he hurt himself in the past, and has been admitted before. That's not new. But seeing that? I never thought I'd see that.

My heart has been racing, and my skin feels itchy. My vision is blurry, but it's not about me. Or dad, Pops. Layla. It's about my baby brother, who's laying in a hospital bed because he wanted to end his life.

Because he couldn't do it anymore.

Because he couldn't fight that battle in his head.

And knowing I couldn't do anything to stop it? That fucking kills me. But it's not about me. It's about him, and I'll do anything for him. So I shove the anxiety that's trying to take hold, and swallow the emotion brimming in my soul.

For him, we need to be strong. Because he can't be right now.

—

"Hey" Xan murmurs. It's the next day, and he woke up about an hour ago. He's hoarse, and looks like shit. But he's alive.

Alive.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" I try not to cringe at my words, but he flinches slightly and that only breaks my heart.

"What do you want me to say to that, Bran?" he looks at his hands, pulling on his fingers.

"Always the truth with me, no matter how hard" I nod, feeling confident in my words. It's just us, so his brutal truth wont pass these walls.

"I feel horrified. I failed Bran. I tried to do one thing, and it failed" his words break my heart, and my eyes sting. But it's not about me.

"Why did you do it?" I ask, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

He lets out a pathetic laugh, shaking his head. "Because I hurt Bran. Because I can't do this anymore. This shit" he jabs his temple with his finger. "Is so fucking exhausting. I bring everyone down. Everyone." he shakes his head, before letting out a heavy sigh. "Because i love you guys too much to keep bringing you down with me"

"You know that's bullshit" I cross my arms over my chest, shaking my head. "You don't bring us down. You fucking lift me up. I wouldn't be where I'm at with Noah if it wasn't for you. Your words play over in my head when shit gets tough. Everytime anything's tough, you're in my head cheering me on. So knock that shit off" my words are rough, but true.

Xan looks at me, pulling on the hem of his shirt. "Really?" he whispers, his eyes glossing over.

"Really" I murmured, slipping my hand in his. "I don't know what I'd do without you, man. Layla and I are close, I get that. But the bond you and I have? Fuck, its tough. And you're always the person I feel with me when shits rough. I don't know how I'd get on without you Xan. It's selfish as fuck, but i need you here" shaking my head, tears slip past my barrier, sliding down my checks. "Why didn't you try and talk to someone?"

"Because it made everything quiet. Numb" he answers right away, like he's been waiting for that question. Maybe he was. Maybe no one asked.

"I'm sorry you're going through this" i squeeze his fingers, before slipping my hand free.

"They're admitting me" he whispers.

"How does that make you feel?"

"Like a child who's being babysat"

"Maybe you need a babysat for a while" I add, his body tenses before he lets out a shaky breath.

"Maybe"

—

I spent a lot of time with Xan today. My parents came back soon after our conversation, dad didn't want to leave. But he spent the night in clothes covered in blood. He looked exhausted, but he wouldn't sleep. He wanted to be with Xan.

Pops looked rough too. Neither of them would nap. Layla hasn't stopped by the hospital yet, and I think it's because she can't stop crying. Dad told her she doesn't have to go, but I think she should.

I know it's rough, but he needs our support.

I'm at home, drying off from my shower. I slip on some comfy clothes, since I don't plan to leave for the night. It's dinner time, but I just can't bring myself to go to the packed house. I don't want to be around anyone right now.

I make my way downstairs, sitting on the couch. I turn on the tv, deciding to scroll through my streaming services. Nothing really catches my attention, I think a part of me feels numb, honestly.

There's a knock on the door, and a part of me wants to avoid it. Pretend I didn't hear, but then there's another one, and I push to my feet, going to it. Swinging the door open, my breath freezes in my throat.

Noah is standing there, in sweats and holding a box of pizza. He has a plastic bag in his hands too, and he glances between my eyes, before roaming them over my body. He seems to be checking if i'm okay, because once he's done his body relaxes slightly.

"Why are you here?" I blurted, slipping my hands into my pockets.

"Figured you'd need food, and wouldn't want to cook. I brought drinks and snacks too" he holds up the plastic bag. "Thought we could watch something and eat?" he asks, and a part of me wants to tell him no. But a bigger part of me wants to wrap myself around him, and stay there forever.

Because this is the sweetest thing someone's done for me. Stepping to the side, letting him in, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

He walks in, making his way right to the living room. He sets everything down on the coffee table, and then he's making his way to me. He wraps his arms around me, holding my body tight to his.

My arms circle around his body, burying my face into his neck. His scent, his warmth calms me down instantly, and I get this safe security around him I didn't know I needed until now.

Pulling back, he smiles sadly. "Let's eat, okay?" he murmurs, placing a soft kiss to my head before pulling back and making his way to the couch. He sits, opening the pizza box. I make a quick trip to the kitchen, getting napkins and plates then im sitting on the couch digging in.

I haven't eaten sensei yesterday, since my nerves have been shot. I completely forgot, actually. Until right now, when I take my first bite it feels like my stomach is being woken up from the dead.

I eat four pieces, before I decide to tap out and drink some sports drinks Noah picked up. I drink that, as we watch a random movie put on by him. He eats quietly, not saying anything and I need that.

I need the quietness, and to be able to relax in my own space without having to force conversations. Especially ones I don't feel like having.

My mind goes blank, as I lean against Noah. He pulls me into his body, running his hand up and down my back, and it's so soothing.

My body relaxes into him, and his heat and scent swarm my head, making my eyes droopy. Cuddling into him, my eyes start to shut.

Before sleep takes hold, there's a gentle kiss, and a soft "I've got you pups" murmured into my hair. I almost don't hear it. But I do.

Then a calming blackness takes hold, and relief floods my system as I fall to sleep in my mates arms. 

A/N

Xan's story breaks my heart. What do you think? Noah is so sweet, he's learninggggg. Check out my patreon for the next couple chapters! And the first couple of Alexander's story!