Chapter 20 - A Pause

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(Infinite's POV)

     I sat at the shore of the calm lake, staring at the moon. It was peaceful. I look down at my side to see Oana sitting next to me. My chest felt like it was going to explode. Her green quills and fur looked like it was made for the sun and moon. A sight I would never get tired of seeing. Her purple and green eyes glanced up at me. I felt my face grow warm as I quickly looked back at the water.

     It felt...nice, having her by my side. The green hedgehog leaned closer to me, making our shoulders rub against each other. My face grew more red at the physical contact. I heard her giggle at my reaction. All I could do was hide my face as I smiled widely. Soon, I reached my hand to touch hers. She didn't back away. She wrapped one of her fingers with mine. My stomach was flipping over backward at her touch.

     It was just a hand. But it was her hand. She has this effect on me. No one was able to make me feel like her. She is like nothing that I've thought a princess would be. She is who she is. She's touch. Smart. No better than that. She's everything. Yet, she's not. She's everything that is a flaw and everything perfect.

     I looked down at her to see her looking at me. Her eyes held a silent question. I hummed, asking her what was on her mind. Her expression changed from relaxed to worried. Her hand tightened against mine. She looked down at the water before speaking.

     "This is nice." Her voice was deeper than any girl I have come across. It seemed natural. Not a faking screech of a bird. I smiled and leaned my head onto hers.

     "It is." I brought our hands together and kissed her knuckles. I felt her flinch in surprise. For a princess, I thought she was used to this kind of praise - this kind of level of respect. And once again, I was wrong.

     She smiled at me and turned her body to face me. I copied her actions, sensing something important for my attention. Our hands never broke away as she looked into my eyes. I felt my hands start to shake in fear. But I kept myself calm with some breathing. I rubbed my thumb against her knuckles. I nodded, letting her know she has my full attention.

     "Are we doing the right thing?"

     Her question made me stop for a moment. I became confused. Before I was going to ask, she started to explain. "As in, this seems to be more difficult. We were enemies on one side of the same war. Yet, we are attracted to one another. We are different but the same. It...feels strange. I have heard stories of how it feels and how it changes people's lives, but..."

     She pauses, not knowing what to say. I held her hands in mine. She looked up at me with worry. I softly smiled at her, giving her comfort to continue explaining.

     And she does.

     "It feels as if," she pauses again, looking at me, at our hands before taking a deep breath. "It feels as if...things are going to get worse."

     It felt like my heart stopped. It felt like my stomach was gashed out of my body. I started to shake. Oana took notice and quickly pulled me into her embrace. My head was resting upon her chest. I felt my face grow hot in my current position but stayed still. Her hands brushed through my hair like water. I felt my heart beating again. My stomach was twisting but it didn't feel like I was breathless. I wrapped my arms around her waist, listening to her heartbeat and her voice.

     "I do not mean that we should end our...entanglement. I was suggesting to perhaps...hold it." I hummed, questioning what she meant. I wanted her to continue. She sighed as she tried to find the words. "What I meant to say is: we are in a war. An event that can change the path of everyone's lives in a second. I want to explore this feeling with you. I really do. But I do not want to wish upon something that might not happen. I want to live. I want you to live. I want everyone to live. But we can only hope for that in the end."

     I pushed myself up to look into her eyes. She was holding tears. My chest felt like it was going to drown itself at the sight of her sadness. I started to think about her words. She wasn't wrong. But she wasn't right either. One side will indeed win. And we won't know what will happen to us after this war is over. It would be a waste to wish for something as fragile as a life after a war.

     I exhaled a heavy breath before resting my head on her chest. Her heart was beating fast. She's scared of my answer. I gently pushed her onto her back before I pushed myself up to look at me. "I will accept your request, Oana. I will wait until the war is over."

     She let out a sigh of relief as she pulled me into her embrace with a soft smile. She felt happy. She felt warm. I smiled at her happiness. I wrapped my arms around her as I rested my head on her chest. Her hands continued to play with my hair.

     "Thank you, Infinite."

     My heart raced at the mention of my name. But it felt too...loose.

     "Zero."

     Her hands froze. "Excuse me?"

     My face grew warm as I continued to speak. "Zero. My real name is Zero."

     Silence echoed through the soft winds of the trees and the waters of the lake. I felt like I was pushed onto a stage in a ridiculous costume in the spotlight. I felt embarrassed.

     I felt her sigh before brushing my hair with her fingers.

     "Zero." I held my breath, waiting for her response. I felt her chest bounce as she giggled. "I like it."

     I felt my tail began to wag. My face grew hot as I heard her giggle at my reaction. "No need to be embarrassed, Zero. It is adorable."

     I wish she could just kill me right now.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 28 ⏰

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