LOVE OR RIDE | LESTAPPEN

Chapter twenty-eight - the end of this relationship

Max

"Are you still angry?" asks Daniel as I bite my lip, stopping at a red light. I am just driving his car, going to a party I was forcibly dragged to. But that's not what upsets me. I'm not even upset that I had to pass it yesterday instead of having a good time with Charles. So I'm annoyed that this idiot decided to put me on the guest list for THIS man behind my back. "Well Max! Charles will be there too, no tragedy!" he shouts, trying to defend himself.

"And that's what's the worst part, Daniel!" I also start shouting. "Charles is going to be at the party of the man I used to have sex with not long ago!" I go with a squeal of tires as the green lights come on.

"But after all, you told him it was over."

I fall silent, tightening my lips into a thin line.

"Max? You told him, didn't you?" He asks, looking at me closely, and I remain silent. "Oh god! You didn't tell him! He thinks you just don't have time!" the boy slaps himself in the face, sighing resignedly.

"Let it go, okay! I didn't have to think about any conversations with him until you decided to put me on that idiotic guest list!" I slam my hand on the steering wheel.

I've always considered myself straight, but every once in a while I'd meet a man for sex. An awesome fit. But irrelevant. Nathan was just a bed partner, no one else. I never felt anything for him and I have a feeling that he felt, however, he did not want to admit it. When I was angry, sad or happy, when I just needed to vent my emotions, I would meet him for sex, and then in the middle of the night I would run away so I wouldn't wake up next to him. And it wasn't weird, because that's what we agreed on. It's sick, but Christian knew and still knows. I had to have Nate sign a confidentiality agreement, through which Horner found out.

As for him, I managed to talk to him today. We reconciled, coming to an agreement. Charles and I will have to sign another confidentiality agreement and no one will pick on us about anything again. I think it's okay. If it weren't for the fact that I have to go to this event, I would have had a good day, because reconciling with a person who is like a father to me is a good feeling. There's still my real family and the situation with Hamilton left, but I don't want to think about it anymore today.

"So you tell him it's over and done with."

"It's not that simple." I sigh, calming down a bit so that I don't scream any more.

"No, man, you fell in love with someone else, so you tell him to fuck off and that's it!" Daniel starts shouting again.

"Do you understand that if I end it, I can be alone later! Charles doesn't know how he feels about me, and if he feels something, I don't know if we'll be together anyway, because he's got some fucking trauma from what Lewis did to him! I don't fucking know if he'll ever profess love to me, if he'll ever want to be in a relationship with me, if he even knows what it means to love someone, since his previous relationships were shitty! And I don't want that, Daniel! I don't want to wait forever, because even though I promised him, I'm afraid that he will never feel even a small percentage of what I feel!" I shout all those words that have been on my heart for a long time, and I immediately feel better. I breathe loudly, calming down after this attack, and Daniel remains silent, looking at me sadly. He didn't expect it to look like this from my perspective.

"Max... He loves you. It can be seen from a distance. Maybe not as strongly as you do him, but he is in love with you. If you want to find out where you stand, ask him out, confess your love, ask him to become your boyfriend. Be yourself, and if he rejects you, I'll be next to comfort you, but you won't have to feel the way you feel now anymore, because you'll know the answers to your questions."