Chapter 12

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Diana's POV

I really wasn't thinking about anyone else's feelings when I ran out the door. I just wanted to leave. Leave Kristen's sudden change of attitude about Tulsa and the gang behind. Leave all the pain I've suffered here. I don't want to stay here, and I don't want to go with Kristen back to LA. I don't have a choice. So what's the alternative? Running away where no one can find you and change your mind.

I'm tired of having to deal with Socs and the scars they leave on my body. I'm tired of the physical and emotional pain of Tulsa, but I'm not prepared for the emotional pain of leaving it. I don't even know where I'm going to go or what I'm going to do. I just want to be alone.

I fear that the gang is going to come after me, so I pick up my pace and go in a direction that they wouldn't expect I would go.

I pass James' house, and all the memories flood my mind. Just what I needed. The anger pumping through my veins to turn cold and depressing. Now I just can't stop thinking.

Ponyboy, Ponyboy, Ponyboy...

Running away is going to have such a negative effect on him. It's going to bring back horrible memories to him too. But what am I supposed to do? It's either I go to LA and he never sees me again, or I run away and maybe give him a chance. Why is this so hard?

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny...

For years he's protected me from harm and my parents, and has been my ray of sunshine. He's not going to see his sister after he's fought all these years to find her. How can this possibly be fair? I hope they understand that it's going to hurt me so much worse to stay. Being pulled 2 different places is ripping me, and my heart, in half.

I reach the spot that I ran to when I first escaped my parents 9 years ago. I look through my bag and find paper and a pen. I decide to write something for Johnny, Ponyboy, and possibly the gang, if they decide to come here and find me.

To the most amazing gang,

If you're reading this, I hope you understand, but I'm running away. I can't take splitting from you or from Kristen. Especially if I can't visit the other after I go.

Johnny, I love you dearly, and I appreciate everything you've done for me since I was born. Thank you so much for protecting me all these years. I'm going to miss you so much it's going to hurt worse than it did in the beginning. I hope one day I will be able to see you again. Don't let your guard down. I would do anything to keep you safe. I would return the favor of yours any day.

Ponyboy, I know it's been hectic since I've came here. And I know this won't be easy for you, considering it destroyed you 9 years ago. I won't be able to repay all the hours you spent looking for me. Thank you for caring as much as you did. I'm sorry I was too stupid to notice. I love you, I really do, and I'm sorry I have to put you through all this again. Please be safe.

To all of you, please don't come looking for me. Don't waste your time. I'll already be too far away. Just go back home and stay away from danger. I'll come back for you eventually, if I can. I can't take Tulsa anymore, and I can't take not being able to come back after I've gone to LA. This is my only option. I know I might get hurt or even die, but please, don't spend all your time trying to find me. I'm going to miss you all so bad it hurts. And if I don't come back, I just wanted to say, thank you for everything you've done for me, and I love you all with my heart.

Diana Cade

I read it over before finding a nail and putting it onto the closest tree.

I really want them to see this, but I hope they don't come looking. That's just what they need, to put themselves in danger just to find me. I'll be fine. I know I will.

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