Losing Control

Chapter 2

Serkan got a decent night of sleep for the first time in many months. It wasn't the sea air, rather it was his decision to face reality again and resume being a partner in his own firm. Serkan needed focus, he knew that he had been lacking it. He loved architecture, the creation of beauty with stone, steel, wood and concrete. The discipline appealed to his character. Serkan knew that his recent lifestyle wasn't who he was, it was who he allowed himself to become. It was where he escaped to and he was miserable. Serkan's biggest fear was that he had damaged his friendship with Engin and Pyril beyond repair. That loss would be the end of him and the end of ArtLife.

If he lost ArtLife through his own stupidity Serkan knew that his cycle of self-sabotage and moral decay would continue. The life of a playboy wasn't him, he knew this, but he had been running from dealing with the death of Alp and running from himself for too long. As he dressed that morning Serkan envisioned himself putting on a suit of armor, hardening his exterior to protect what was inside. He had told no one that he was returning this morning.

When he woke refreshed at his normal five a.m. Serkan thought that he might be returning to himself. He had stood looking out at the sea after his workout and made a vow to turn his life back on course. Serkan could do without sex, meaningless sex. He couldn't remember the last time that he made love, he didn't know if he ever had. Serkan threw away the rest of his coffee and headed to the office.

The surprise on Tolga's face as he took Serkan's keys should have given him an idea of how long it had been since he had shown himself in the office. Well that changed today, at least that was his intention. Leyla Haktan had been waiting at the front desk for months for Serkan to return. She knew that he had been destroyed by his brother's death, they all had, but Serkan had taken it internally, bottling up his grief and then acted in a manner very unlike himself.

Leyla had been horrified the first time she had gone to his apartment to drop of papers after hours, the party that was in full swing and the women in various state of undress hanging on Serkan made her nauseous. His drunken behavior and invitation to join the party and stop acting like she had a stick up her ass enraged her. To this day he had never apologized, instead he told her no business after hours. She had worked for the man since ArtLife was founded, she had feared and respected him, now she pitied him and mourned all that he had lost or thrown away.

Serkan Bolat was one of the most talented architects in the field and he was throwing away his God given talents to chase women and be a drunk. Leyla got angry every time she thought of him wasting his life. He was dragging the company that he and his partners had worked so hard to build down the drain. Leyla didn't know how much longer she could pretend to work for him. All their contact was via email and had been for months. Serkan was still designing but had none of the passion that he had before and that was criminal in her opinion.

Her shock was apparent when the object of her thoughts walked through the door looking almost like his old self, tanned and slimmer but his eyes seemed clear, "Good morning Serkan. It's a pleasure to see you here today."

He stopped in front of Leyla and could see her shock, confusion, sadness and a hint of disgust still in her eyes. Serkan knew that he had damaged his relationship with her as well. Not that she worshipped him, Leyla had respected him, hell, he had respected himself too but no longer did. Change was past due.

"Good morning Leyla. What do I have on my calendar today? Anything? Or is the shock of my appearance stolen your voice?" he began to head upstairs to his office. A momentarily stunned Leyla hurried to follow and began to rattle off the calls and meetings that he had on his calendar. Over the past year she never knew which ones he would attend, sometimes missing calls altogether without warning.

Leyla had taken abuse from him for years, now it was her turn to give some of it back. She followed him into his office, "Not lost my tongue, though I will admit to being surprised to see you," Leyla went for broke, "Are you staying the whole day or did you just end up here by accident?"