Losing Control

Chapter 9

Saturday morning dawned bright and clear, the exact opposite of Serkan's dark mood. He had listened to Ayfer last evening, really listened to her, and come to the realization that his chances with Eda were probably slim to nonexistent. As much as he was trying to return to who he was, the damage was done and he was the one who had done it. No one other than himself created the mess and now a woman who he was falling for wanted nothing to do with him because of his past.

Serkan knew that Ayfer encouraged him to go boating with them but no invitation was received from Eda to confirm that he was welcome. He would drop the children off at the marina like he planned and then come home to workout. Serkan hoped that he could get the aggression and frustration out before they returned.

While Serkan was loading the car with their bags and getting Ebru situated, Defne quietly ran to his bedroom. She rarely came in here, but she knew what she needed to do. Defne wanted to make sure that Serkan had swim trunks too. She had heard him and Eda talking the other night, she hadn't meant to eavesdrop it just happened. She saw them sitting close on the sofa, holding hands. Defne knew that Serkan liked Eda. When she was at dinner the week before he watched her, Defne thought that Eda had done her own fair share of stealing looks at him too.

When Serkan came home last night he was in a bad mood, he had been in a funk all week and she knew it had to do with Eda. Defne wasn't trying to listen in to private conversations, she had her fill of that with her parents, but she did it again accidentally last night when Ayfer was talking to Serkan. She couldn't imagine Eda's husband cheating on her, the woman was wonderful, her husband must have been like Aptekin she thought sourly.

Defne heard the hurt in Serkan's voice when he talked about Eda but she also heard something else, she heard love. She knew he hadn't packed anything for this outing so she would make sure that he had things and his swim trunks were the last thing on her list. She quickly ran to his room as he went outside and rifled through his dresser until she found what she needed, she took an extra sweatshirt just in case. Defne shoved the items in her bag and hurried to the kitchen to get the snack items out.

Serkan stuck his head back into the house, "Defne? You coming?"

"Just getting the things out of the refrigerator. I'll be right there," she called. She quickly got the bag and headed out to meet them at the car. Defne saw the jut of Serkan's jaw made by his clenched teeth, this might be harder than she thought. It was always so easy in the movies.

Serkan pulled up to the marina to let them out, he handed Emir his bag along with Ebru's and one of Defne's, the boy let out a confused, "Aren't you coming Serkan?"

"No, you enjoy yourself and watch out for Ebbie," he gave the little girl a hug before setting her down.

Defne watched him with concern, "We'll miss having you with us Serkan. It was supposed to be a family outing," she pouted.

"Go, have fun," he gave her a gentle nudge towards the dock. Serkan waited until they got to the boat before getting in his car, he would wait until they pulled away before leaving. He shouldn't torture himself like this, it only led him to negative thoughts and bad behavior, things he was trying to overcome.

Eda saw Defne and Ebru coming on board, looking behind them for Serkan, "Isn't Serkan coming?" she asked Defne. The girl rather sadly shook her head, she was hoping that she wasn't overdoing it.

Handing the teen Ebru's life vest Eda made a decision, "Put this on her, I'll be right back," she needed to fix this. She had thought all night about what Ayfer shared with her, she knew Serkan was trying with the children, she could see their confidence growing each time she was with them and she could hear in Kiraz's voice how much she liked Serkan. Her daughter wasn't the only one, Ayfer liked him too and if she stopped being afraid . . . . Eda jogged down the dock and saw him sitting in the car with his head back.