Don't you shy away

thirteen

||Ryana Bronwyn Caldwell||First person||

Summer was over. It was the middle of September already and I hated it. I wanted time to stop. I felt nothing interesting happened in my life. Nothing big, nothing breakthrough. I wanted to do something special with my life but I didn't know where to start. I am a 23 year old girl working at Starbucks... Not interesting AT ALL.

I was sitting in a Taco bell, waiting for Tyler and Josh. Yes, Josh. I told Tyler I wanted to meet his best friend so badly, so we decided to go somewhere nice and pleasant. We both agreed on Taco bell. But where were they? They were supposed to be at the place 20 minutes ago...

After a few more minutes of waiting, they finally arrived. I squeaked when I saw Josh, ran up to him and gave him a huge hug.
"Wow, you really are that muscular" was the first thing I said. They both laughed. After I finally stopped suffocating Josh with my love, we sat down.
"Why did you guys come 20 minutes late??" I asked
"We are musicians, it's our job to be late" Tyler said and I giggled

•|FEW HOURS LATER|•

I had a wonderful time with Josh and Tyler. We chatted about literally everything, and the food was great too (when we left the place, I decided to sing Taco bell saga to the boys because I learned it on my uke. they both loved it). Josh is an incredible person. He's a beautiful soul, full of creativity, fun and kindness... But I just can't get Tyler out of my mind. it's so annoying. my crush is turning into something more and I'm happy and afraid at the same time. happy, because it seems like he likes me too but really afraid of a relationship. well, that's me.

•|TWO WEEKS LATER|•

I've been hanging out soooo much with the boys lately, especially Josh. he even came to the Starbucks the times Tyler couldn't. but I never mind him being there, he's such an interesting guy. we can talk about anything and both be entertained. some days, we went up to my apartment after my shift and I showed him the songs I learned on the uke or we watched something. one time, we tried a partner yoga challenge which ended up with both of getting scars from falling all the time. we took Jim, his cutie golden retriever to the park many times, stopped by the playground and sat on the swings... let's just say, we became incredibly close friends in no time. it's crazy to think about how much we already know each other after only two weeks.

but the last few days something has been off about Josh. he often forgot what we were talking about, or just basically didn't pay attention. sometimes, he would just stare at something and I could see that he's in a totally different place mentally. he blushed a few times while we were chatting or looked nervous. but what happened today explains all this.

I was just about to start slowly packing because my afternoon shift was nearly over when Josh walked into the Starbucks. I got used to seeing his curly-haired head pop up in front of me, so I wasn't quite surprised. I did notice though, that he looked really great (he always looks great, but today, it seemed as if he put some extra effort into looking exceptionally good). we said hi, started talking. I quickly packed my stuff and we agreed to go up to my apartment.

•|IN THE APARTMENT|•

I asked Josh if he wanted anything from the kitchen and returned to the living room a few minutes later with two Red bulls and a pack of chips (hmm, have I ever mentioned that I'm not the healthiest?).
"Tyler would be so jealous to see us drink Red bull without him" Josh laughed. Tyler's favorite drink is Red bull. I grinned at him and handed one of the cans over. after a few minutes of slurping the drinks, crunching on the chips and some awkward silence (which has never happened between us before, but I could just feel the tension coming from Josh), he finally started talking. he looked serious.
"so uuuh, Ryana... you have been my biggest source of happiness for the last two weeks. I think we became amazing friends. I love being around you, talking to you, playing with you, eating with you... basically anything. and I really wanted to tell you that... uuh... um... I really.... really like you..."

|{•}|

Author's note:

heyoo everyone! hope you liked this chapter and just please remember I really appreciate you ❤️

btw what does everybody think about Next semester? I personally love it more than Overcompensate... man, this song just slaps.

anyway, Backslide coming out TOMORROW, OMG! and Josh is the director of the mv so that's bound to be interesting. so let's all be happy about that too

anyway, if you read this, love you very much, take care and stay alive|-/ ❤️