Maddy*
The next morning i woke up, feeling heaviness on my chest, i slowly opened my eyes, feeling Charles' head on my chest. By his breathing i felt his awake. My hand slide under his shirt to stroke his back, he moaned slightly.
I kissed his forehead softly and he looked at me, his eyes looking endlessly tired, so lifeless. This wasn't my Charlie. This was a lifeless human body. I missed the spark in his eyes, his shiny smile, his sweet dimples, the messy curls he had.. I just wanted to see him happy again, but i knew that it's gonna take a while.
"Morning.." He whispered, ever so quietly. His voice was barely audible.
"Morning babe." I kissed his forehead again.
He closed his eyes and sighed, breathing deeply. We heard footsteps and Mateo coming, he didn't even bothered to put a fake smile anymore, he was exhausted. Mateo entered thw room, rubbing his eyes. Charles looked at him briefly, his features relaxing, still no smile.
"I have karting today... daddy will you drive me?" He asked softly, walking to the bed.
"Mm.." Charles frowned softly, but he loved Mateo, it was clear he would drive him. "Yes bud, when?" His voice was low and husky.
"At 9." He said, i glanced at the clock, it was 7:30.
"How about we let daddy sleep for a bit more because Lya will wake up soon, we can make breakfast and i will let you watch TV." I said to Mateo, desperately wanting to give Charles those extra minutes in bed, i just wanted him to don't feel pressured at the moment.
Mateo quickly agreed and we walked to the kitchen, i started making some coffee for me and Charles.
"What you wanna eat sweetheart?" I asked Mateo, he shrugged.
"Cereal?" He asked softly.
"Okay, that's fine."
I made him a bowl of cereal while he was watching TV, he was little moody and i felt like he could throw a tantrum for something. As much as i don't wanted Charles to be pressured, i felt that way. Taking care of three of them was a big thing.
Charles walked to the living room, i felt him wrapping his arms around my waist from behind, resting his head on my shoulder.
"Do you want breakfast?" I whispered softly, he shook his head.
"I will eat some cereal, don't worry about me." He stroked my arms.
"That's kind of impossible at the moment." i heard Lya crying, i groaned softly and felt Charles' arms sitting me on the couch.
"I'll take care of her. Just sit down. Then I'll take Mateo to karting." He kissed my forehead.
It didn't looked like Charles still, it looked more like this is a chore and it's either me or him to do it. He still didn't smiled or anything.
***
After few hours Mateo and Charles came back, Mateo had a second place medal and he looked pretty disappointed and tired. I knew he always wanted to win, that mentality came from Charles. But it's not always possible.
Mateo layed on the couch, snuggling into a blanket, he was slightly sweaty and had a little bruise on his arm.
"Sweetheart, hey.. it's okay." I sat next to him, stroking his hair. I felt like comforting Charles after a bad race.
Mateo sniffed softly and looked at me, his eyes slightly teary. I felt sad.
"I wanted to win mommy.." He whimpered, i was so good, and daddy did everything perfect! But then the boy pushed me off! I became second!" He explained, expressing his emotions. I kissed his forehead.
"You know you can't always win, sweetheart. You still did great, me and daddy are proud of you." He snuggled into me, sniffing still.
Charles sat next to us and looked at Mateo, his eyes shining with sadness but pride.
"Bud, you did amazing, next time you're gonna win. I promise." Charles spoke softly, rubbing Mateo's back.
"I know you did everything daddy, it wasn't fair. It's like when you pushed
Max off the track." Mateo said and Charles chuckled up, it was real, he smiled.
"Oh right bud, i wasn't fair back then, and the boy today wasn't. But you see me and Max now right, we are friends." He patted his back, visibly remembering his karting days.
"Maybe Max can come with us to karting sometimes."
"Sure bud, he can give you some nice tips, I'll talk with him." Mateo smiled and nodded.
"I'm tired.." He nuzzled against me, closing his eyes.
"How about a bath, dinner and sleep?" I smiled and rubbed his back.
"Can i bath alone mommy?" He asked softly, he was already so independent and that was another huge step into it.
"Of course, I'll fill the tub for you and you can be there as long as you want." I smiled and Charles also looked at him with proud smile.
***
After half an hour in the bath, Mateo ate and went to bed directly, i had fed and changed Lya, and also putted her to sleep.
Me and Charles sat on the couch, eating dinner.
"My only source of happiness is you and the kids, honestly. I feel so miserable without the three of you. I'm so so lucky to be your husband and father of the kids. I don't deserve you.." He whispered, his voice broke. He didn't let his emotions to control him but now it was too much, definitely. He lowered his head on my shoulder and sobbed, i held him tightly and rubbed his back, letting him cry.
***
