The things I can't have - Taylor and Travis (AU)

5.

Travis
It's been a week since the party and Taylor's been avoiding me since. I have no other explanation for it other than that she remembers everything that happened that night.

If she does I really need to talk to her but she won't lot me.

I tried calling her a few times and texted her so many times I lost count. But she didn't respond so any of them.

I saw her yesterday walking from class back to her dorm and stopped at the side of the road to offer a lift and say I need to talk to her. She rolled her eyes at me and walked away. I started driving after her and hoped she would give in so I could explain but she didn't and eventually she mad at me and yelled at me "stop following me! Leave me alone" and I did as she asked.

But last night I couldn't sleep and all I did was think about her. About the way her lips felt against mine, the look of disappointment in her eyes as I pulled away, the lyrics she wrote about me. How did I miss that she liked me back all this time?

So now I was standing outside her lecture room, waiting for her to walk out. I'm gonna force her to listen. She has to realize that even though I really want her, I can't do this to Austin. Also, I like to live and he would literally murder me if he knew I touched his baby sister.

The door opens and I scan the exit for her. After a few seconds I locate her golden curls  bouncing as she walks. I immediately go after her "Taylor" I call her name, trying to get her to stop or at least slow her down a little so I can catch up.

She looks back and spots me, then turns and starts walking faster. I run after her.

She makes a turn so a quieter alley when I finally reach her. I grab her hand to stop her and she even though she finally stands in front of me of me, she yanks her hand away from mine.

"Don't fucking touch me" she hisses.

"I'm sorry-"
She interrupts me "I think I made it clear enough that I don't want to talk to you, please just leave me alone Travis" she chokes.

I see the shine in her eyes, knowing she's in the verge of tears and just now it gets to me how much I had hurt her. But I didn't mean to, I'd never hurt her on purpose, I love her even when I can't act on those feelings.

"I know, I know I'm sorry" I begin "but I really have to talk to you and explain everything about the other night" she huffs.

"What explanation do you have? You decided to treat me like I'm some girl that's obsessed with you" now I really see the tears welled up in her eyes.

"First you make me confess my feelings to you, then you kiss me, then you leave me in the middle of the night like a meaningless one night stand and don't even text or talk to me before crushing to my breakfast with my brother".

I had an entire speech prepared but hearing her out it like that, hearing what she feels like and how she saw it from her side made everything I intended to say seem not enough.

She continues "that's crazy making Travis! How could you do this to me when you knew damn well how I feel?" She asks and I want to tell her I didn't know.

"Taylor I didn't know. I swear I didn't"

"That still doesn't excuse everything" she wipes the single tear that fell from her eye with her hand.

"I know. I promise you that I wish I could do things differently. I wish I could kiss you and hold you through the night and wake up next to you every day" shit I didn't mean to confess that.

But now it's out and the look on her face changes. Maybe I'm not always the best people reader but I know Taylor well enough to see the tiny spark of hope in her eyes.

I hate myself, knowing I'm gonna crush her again in a minute.

"What?"

I nod once "Taylor I lo-" no I can't use that word. "I do have feelings for you, I have had them for the longest time but I can't do anything about it".

She sniffles "why not?" It comes out almost as a whisper and it takes so much self control I didn't know I had not to pull her into me and hug her.

"Austin will never forgive me. You're his little sister, that's a red line you don't cross" I tell her. I look at the ground, afraid to see her face in case I shuddered her again.

"That's not true" I look up at her.

She takes a step closer and my said self control can only last so much. So when she takes another step towards me, my hands automatically move to rest on her waist.

"He loves me, and he loves you. He'd be happy for us" I shake my head.

"No you don't understand, there's a code."

"Our entire life our parents joked about how we'd grow up and fall in love. He never said anything so maybe he's not so opposed to the idea.." her voice is so soft and I feel my guard go down, what she says is getting to me.

"Taylor what are you saying?" I also talk with the softest voice that's reserved only for her.

"I'm saying that maybe you could end up his brother for real". She's gonna be the death of me, literally because my beat grind will kill me when he finds out. The corners of her mouth curve upwards, but only a little. She's not sure what I'm about to say or do.

I can't stop the smile that creeps its way onto my face before I lean down and crush my lips to hers. This is the best kiss I've ever had.

It's passionate but still so soft. This kiss represents the beginning of something new and good.