FAR FROM ERIS • FreenBecky •

EIGHT

-🎶-

Freen stepped out of the shower and sat, still with the towel wrapped around her body, on the small bench at the foot of the bed. She had convinced Heng and Nam to go out that night. She told them what her plan was, and both seemed quite receptive to the idea of spending some time together. -Those two...- Freen thought. But she was okay with that. She was actually okay- she told herself mentally as her cat Sam curled up on the clothes she had left on the bed. She had been worse; much worse. Now she just felt that shadow wandering around her room, looking at her things, like an old friend who had been away for several months and now suddenly returned wanting to have a pajama party. But she was okay. She had learned not to fight the shadow. She had understood that once you forge that bond with it, it's very difficult to get it out of your life. Sometimes, no matter how many lamps you turn on at home, or even if you turn them off, it always appears. That's why Freen learned that the shadow was now as much a part of her as the light could be.

She got up and looked at her phone. She still had time. She put on loose black pants, a white top that showed part of her belly button, and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. Her hair, once again perfect, fell to the sides of her face. She looked in the mirror, and there she was, with her shadow in the background, waiting for her to leave the house together. -Come on, let's go.-

She entered that familiar and yet strange room with the same feeling that always accompanied her - what the hell am I doing here? I'm fine - And thinking that was always a sure sign that she needed to be there.

It was a fairly large room, with several tables against the walls equipped with plates and glasses, thermoses, some food dishes, and an exaggerated amount of cookies. She imagined Charlotte would be there. She made tons of those cookies every time a meeting was scheduled.

The chairs were arranged as usual, in a circle right in the middle of the room. There were several people standing next to their seats, others walking around, and others staying away, close to the walls. The first few times, Freen assumed.

Little by little, everyone took their seats, leaving spaces between each other. That's the thing about group therapy; you never feel quite comfortable when someone cries next to you. So Freen sat down, leaving a space on her right, and a red-haired guy who showed up every few months sat down on her left, leaving a seat between them. It was a strange kind of ritual, like a custom or an unwritten rule.

-Good evening, everyone,- Charlotte said. -I'm glad you're all here today. It doesn't matter why you've crossed that door. What matters is that you've come whether you thought it was a good idea or a bad one. Today...- The sound of the door closing interrupted the therapist's introduction. Freen instinctively looked up, and her mouth opened unintentionally.

-Oh, excuse me. I'm so sorry to be late. I don't know the city very well, and I got a little lost- said the girl, who clearly looked flustered. -Sorry for interrupting, really.-

-Don't worry,- Charlotte said, smiling. -You are...-

-Rebecca,- she said. -Well, Becky.-

-Okay, Becky, welcome. No problem at all; we've just started. Please, have a seat and make yourself comfortable.-

-Thank you- said the girl, scanning the circle of chairs until she found Freen. Who smiled weakly due to nerves, while Becky tilted her head in an adorable way, squinting her eyes slightly.

For a moment, Freen feared that Becky would sit next to her. Not for any particular reason, because she wasn't going to cry that night, and Becky didn't seem like she was about to start a drama imminently. In fact, Freen couldn't understand why Becky was at a meeting like that. She would swear that if she herself was the shadow, Becky was the sun. And that intimidated her terribly.

Becky must have read Freen's panicked look and chose another place to sit. Not sure if it was a worse idea because, sitting almost in front of her, their eyes met almost once a minute. And every single time, Freen felt like a stone dropped in her stomach.

-Well- Charlotte began again -since we've all met here before, I'd like to ask Becky if she would like to share something with the group so that we can get to know her better.-

Becky knew that would happen, but she didn't feel nervous. She had done it a million times: telling why she was there. Of course, not all those times had Freen been present. And this time she was. Destiny was a curious thing.

-Okay, um... sure, let me see,- Becky said, getting up from her chair and brushing her hands against her jeans. -My name is Rebecca, and I've arrived new to the city relatively recently. I wanted a change of scenery, and I got the opportunity to do a job that I quite like, so I can't complain,- Freen increasingly felt that Becky had chosen the wrong place. But the girl kept talking. -I've been to several cities, and well, I guess you know that telling the same story is tedious, so I'll give you the short version so that you can all participate as you need.- Becky paused, looking at the group. She looked at Freen, but before continuing, she diverted her eyes to an undefined point. -As I said, my name is Rebecca, but everyone calls me Becky. I'm twenty-four years old, and I've liked attending support groups for quite some time because I think it's good not to let things stay inside us for too long. And well, the reason I started attending is that six years ago, I tried to commit suicide.-

Freen felt her entire nervous system discharge. Destiny was indeed a curious thing

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