I'd been hittin' up them local buffets and fast food joints, and I was worried 'bout losin' my privileges at them places so I always tried to behave myself. Unfortunately, that just ended up slowin' down my eatin'. No matter how hard I tried, tryin' to keep from gettin' food on me slowed down my chowin' to a crawl. Fed up and feelin' like I wasn't eatin' good enough, the sloppy voice in my head said "Screw it" once more. I started off slow, payin' no mind to spills or eatin' over a plate, but it didn't take long before I turned into a straight-up dining savage. The area 'round my face was so crowded with food that it was like Chicago-O'Hare. Crumbs got stuck in all the wet globs of sauce, dressing, and ice cream. My tank top went from white to a mess of colors faster than a tie-dye with all the buffet rainbow hues. Couldn't even see past my rolls, but some of the stains were mixin' with my sweat and runnin'. Folks stared at the chubby gal makin' a mess all over her face and chest, but they didn't stick around. They just went on with their meals. Didn't bother me none, I just wanted to turn my hands into bulldozers and shovel all the food in sight into my mouth, clothes be darned.
YOU ARE READING
How 2 Slob
FantasyEver'one been wonderin' how I done gone an' did it, turnin' myself into the human example of a pig stench and all fer years now so I reckoned I oughta do what I love an' treat myself to this here biography tellin' you how it happend, every step of t...
