How 2 Slob

Intimidation Display

While mah family seemed to be toleratin' mah stench, others couldn't help but wrinkle their nose up at this monstrous blob with a green cloud followin' her everywhere. I knew I smelled just plain awful, and wanted to make sure everyone 'round me knew. I would often sit with mah legs open to let mah vagina's swamp like qualities fill the room, or lift mah arms above mah head in a very phony yawn. I would stand too close to people talkin' to me and make sure they got a bit of mah humid breath in their noses. Sometimes I'd even ride the bus durin' rush hour just to show off how much I could sweat durin' the day.

It was durin' one of these vain sojourns that a teenage geek smashed against mah soppin' wet rolls on the crowded bus, that someone finally had enough of mah malodourous ways. The twiggy boy puffed out his chest, soaked on the side that was mashed against the smelly lard girl and stuck his jaw out in sheer rage. From the top of his lungs he shouted "I don't know how you manage to stand out on this bus with your god awful stench, but now I'm gonna smell like I live in a damn dumpster for weeks just for sittin' next to your blubbery ass". Everyone on the bus was agape as this guy went off on the messy fat girl sittin' in a cloud of her own stink. I made a facs faux shame just like I had rehearsed, all I had to do lean to the side as I felt a different wet spot formin' between mah legs. I waited until the boy was pinned between the window and me, the bus was silent 'cept for one low high pitched fart that escaped mah, sweatin' brown eye.

"Well, you lil' shit." I said my rancid breath sprayin' over him, and no the irony ain't lost on me. "I'm more than lil' curious to see you pressed up gaisnt it." I winded mah ass back and... bumped him with it, just as a lil' joke of course.