Chasing Catalina | Book One: Worshipping Ashes

13. | The Darkness

The night is long and this drive seems even longer in the deafening silence that continues to grows between Helena and I. The car travels quickly down the backroad, rain pitter pattering against the windows as I listen to Helena's deep breath that she inhales. My attention instantly turns towards her as she glances out of the corner of her eye at me.

"What?" she asks. Her eyes make their way forward again.

"Silly questions really." I shrug my shoulders as I looked forwards out the windshield again. A shrug of my hand against the top of the steering wheel before silence returns.

"What silly questions?"

"Like what possessed you to follow Barbatos in the first place?" I asked her with a stern sincerity in my voice. My eyes followed back to her briefly before catching the attention that I desired. Her breath caught in her throat, and she shifted in her seat as her jaw grinded behind her cheeks.

"I didn't choose to follow him, it was the only opportunity I had to get out of Hell to find you." Her eyes roll before turning towards me. Her stare catches my gaze before she shifts in her expression. Her duh, what did you think, mannerisms change to something more fearful, and she tears her gaze away before crossing her arms over her chest and looking down at her knees.

I turn back to the road in spite of her response. It isn't satisfying.

"What would you rather I have done? Die at the hands of traitors?" She leans forward in the seat as she looks towards me, her attention was deliberate and she was obviously pissed off at the idea that I wished her to die at the hands of those who betrayed me. Which was far from the truth.

"No, of course not." I retort quickly. My free hand raising to wave off the obvious strike at my moral compass as if I were gaining one of those. I sigh softly through parted lips before closing them into a tight line. I shake my head back and forth. "I would've rathered you not attack me where my friends make their living. I'd rather you not have tried to kill me in front of a crowd of people. I'd rather you've been who you always were to me." I pause and glance back towards her. "Ya know, my right hand."

I feel her eyes staring at me for a long moment before settling back against the passenger seat. Her head ducking down to stare at her lap.

Silence bore a deafening roar in my ears... So much I couldn't take it. I reach up and turn on the radio. A classical piano concerto played perfectly in the speakers of the car before it was silenced again. Helena switches it off as she sits back up.

"What are you going to do about Catalina?" She asks with full intention of knowing the final answer to it. She turns completely in the seat towards me. Her hands against her thighs and her shoulders pushed upwards as she stared at me.

"I..." I pause with my lips barely parted, "I don't know. I gave her a week." I shrug my shoulders upwards.

"A week? God, Luce-"

"Zander." I swear, I'm gonna lose my shit if she keeps calling me that.
"Right, yeah. Whatever." She pauses, "I saw it in her eyes. She doesn't remember a damn thing." I remember her berating her at the coffee shop about how she looked familiar, knowing full well that Helena was the one who traumatized her for years. Of course, Helena was good for it. Considering the deal Catalina made with her-

That's a different story.

"I'm aware." I nod. Leaving my end at that.

"So are you going to tell her?" Helena asks with a curious viewpoint in this entire sideline situation she has going on.

"Not yet." My words seem lost in the wind as soon as they leave my mouth. As if I didn't even believe myself. After a moment of total silence, I lean back up and switch the music back on. Leaving behind the conversation that left us both silent and brooding.