Promise

Chapter 19: Flashlight

Loanne

The sound and smell of the hospital has become my security blanket these past few weeks. But mostly the sound of her heart still beating that resonated from the machine that was hooked onto her.

I lifted my head and stared at Promise. My little sister sleeping peacefully. She still looked beautiful even with tubes and wires surrounding her. I felt my eyes water as I watched her. Closing my eyes I let out a breathy sob.

We were lucky that we revived her, but because she was dead for 20 minutes. The doctors said she was brain dead. I knew that they know she won't wake up ever, but I couldn't bring myself to admit it. Promise... she was a fighter so I knew she would wake up.

But there was just this litter insecurity that told me, why should she when she has been fighting for a very long time. She deserves to relax and be free. Be free from the chains that hold her down.

I rested my head down beside her arm and stayed like that until I passed out.

~

Another day has passed, and still no change. I can already tell that the doctor is waiting for me to make the decision. But once again my heart stops me from agreeing to take her off of the machine.

I moved my hand to grab hers. My thumb slightly moving on top.  I looked at her and then at the machine that showed her heartbeat.

"Are you in pain?" I whispered to her before moving my eyes down to my hand.

"Am I making the right choice? Keeping you here? Stuck to a machine?"  More tears fell until sobs racketed throughout my body.

"Am I selfish?"

~

Outside was raining heavily. I could hear the rumbling of the thunder. See the flashes of the lightening on the ground and walls that surround Promise and I.

Today marks three weeks. Three weeks of her in a coma. Three weeks of me being selfish to keep her here. Three weeks since the doctors pestering.

I stared at Promise before I left her room to go hunt down her doctor. I needed answers from him, though I knew he could not answer half of them.

I had no chance of finding him until i ran and asked a nurse named Tina. "Excuse me?" I asked.

She looked up and she smiled at me. "Yes?"

I couldn't find myself to smile at her, my energy was drained. I continued on and asked her of the doctor that I was looking for and gladly she showed me where he was located at. Thanking her I quietly knocked on the door before I heard his voice.

Slowly opening the door, his eyes widened as he looked at me. I knew why he looked so surprised. It was because I never left Promise's room. I stayed by her side 24/7.

"Miss. Loanne how can I help you?" He asked me as he pointed towards the chair in front of his desk.

I moved in slowly before sitting down in front of him. I must look like a mess but right now I didn't care. "I had some answers." I said after clearing my throat.

"What questions do you have?"

"It is regarding Promise." I said.

"Ahh okay." He said as he slowly moved back into his chair. I can see the sadness in his eyes, of course he would feel this way since he was Issac's doctor before becoming hers. They formed a special bond with each other.

"You and your fellow doctors said that she was... brain dead..." I wandered off.

He nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, she is brain dead."