I want to talk about what happened without mentioning how much it hurt.
There has to be a way.
To care for the wounds without reopening them.
To name the pain without inviting it back to me.
-Lora Mathis, If There's a way out I'll take it.
-Manasvi-
I don't think that I've been good to Aryan. Certainly our lives are different and our worlds are poles apart but it's wrong on my part to not try to understand him. With all the grudges I have with people in power, it becomes difficult for me to look at Aryan through a different lens.
During times like these, I did what I did best- cook. I picked up an engaging recipe that would keep me busy and away from my thoughts the entire afternoon: mutton biryani. Thus, I quickly headed out to get all the ingredients I needed- straight from the coriander to the meat. What else had I done, Anusha wasn't home, my exams were concluded and the next were a month or twice later, no audition preparations, nothing. Just me and my thoughts. The guilt of probably hurting someone I loved.
As soon as I came home I started with my work, and even while doing everything I didn't feel tired because of the cooking labour. I did everything, chopped the onions, cooked the masala, boiled the meat and the basmati rice, kneaded the dough for the dum, placed it all. Just like I waited for extraordinary things to happen, I waited for the biryani to be cooked. Even after doing all this, the fact that made be feel weary was my guilt of not being able to understand Aryan.
I called Anu to ask how much time would it take her to get home for dinner. And alas! she wouldn't be able to make it, I couldn't even blame her, Hrehaan's grandmother had to be rushed to the hospital and it was necessary for Anu to be with him during this crucial time. I asked her if I could come over, but she denied and told me to stay and look after the home. I didn't tell her that I had cooked biryani, because if I had she would have felt sorry.
And just like that again, destiny couldn't even reward me with a peaceful dinner.
Minutes later, while sitting in my kitchen, the kitchen counter supporting my back, my phone beside me on the floor, and my hands lose as if they already gave up, an exciting thought crossed my mind. The thought said- 'Manu, call Aryan over and everything will be fine.' For a moment, I dismissed the idea thinking 'why would he come' and 'he must be busy' or 'what if he is hurt and would never speak to me again', but then instead of listening to my mind, I listened to my heart just like I had done four years back, even then I had changed the course of my life and even now I was meaning to. Go with your gut, something inside me said and I dialed Aryan's phone number.
"Hello" Aryan said from the other side.
"Hey, hi."
"Is everything alright?" he said, sounding genuinely concerned.
"Yeah, yeah.. everything's fine. I called.. I called to ask you if.." I couldn't gather my spirits.
"If?"
"if you're free then why don't you come over for dinner. I've cooked something special." I managed to say.
