Abandoned

I'm the type who doesn't ask for sleeping pills
For I played myself each night to sleeping
But when I saw you amidst my sleepless whims–
You turned my nightmares into daydreams.

You bring forth to me an alien space,
A better place, but you're also the reason,
Attached myself with the warmth of your embrace–
a love without conditions
is a subtle act of treason.

And for the first time, I have felt forever:
Heaven is my bedroom, cuddling out the weather,
But for the first time, we turned into strangers–
I feel so abandoned, fucking abandoned.

Every midnight then is black, white, dead, gray, and hazy;
Appease pain with guys – for the next day, I'll be leaving.
For I can't quit you despite the odds and lies;
My "I love you" eclipsing your "goodbye."

But for the first time, I set myself to the fire:
Your hell is my bedroom, the long, gloomy December.
Then, time after that, we pretend to be lovers–
I feel so abandoned, fucking abandoned.

Fooled myself into thinking things would be alright
For my "I love you" eclipsing your "goodbye,"
Spent lifetimes in a cold, empty midnight
Cause my "I love you" eclipses your "goodbye."

But you're the grandest fraud,
Man has ever done.
Give me the highest of hopes.
But you never come.

You're the tightest knot.
I couldn't undone.
You just left alone,
And I feel so lost,
fucking abandoned