Not In The Same Way

Chapter 14 ~You air tagged me?

After I left Jessie's house I drove around for a while but that got me no where. Literally I had to use google maps to find my way back to town. I'm still fairly new to town so I really had no idea where to go.

After driving around for a while I ended up at McDonalds and got myself a large coffee. After a while I decided I would go to the look out spot everyone at school talks about. Once I managed to figure out how to get there I park my jeep and get out.

I move to the front of the car and sit on the front of the hood and look at the view in front of me. Why does everyone think they know what's best for me. It's my life. They should have asked if I wanted to come here, if I wanted to see him or even talk to him. I lay back on the car and look up at the sky.

What happens after death, where did my parents go? I don't really believe in heaven and even if I did, did my parents? Were they even good enough people to get in? Did they miss me? I sigh and close my eyes and let everything that had happened in the last couple of hours set in.

"I told your brother this was a bad idea But no one ever listens to me."

I shoot up surprised by the new voice but I don't need to look over to know who it is. I feel the person jump up and sit beside me.

I roll my eyes "and yet you still let him talk you into coming?"

Matt scoffs playfully "and miss the chance to see my favourite girl, never."

I can't answer him. His 'favourite girl' it's pathetic. He doesn't care either he shipped me off too. Yes he had less of a say than my brother but he could have talked Charlie into letting me stay if he wanted too.

I can feel his eyes burning a hole into the side of my head. "I've loved you since you've been five."

I look at him baffled by his statement. He loved me since I was five?

He grabs my hand and continue to look at the view if front of us. "You and Charlie, You were the siblings I never had. We grew up in the same kind of family but you guys had each other, while I was alone. So when our parents introduced us I finally had someone. I had a family."

I move my hand out of his "and yet you couldn't fight for me. You and Charlie were my family too and the minute you guys had a chance I was shipped off. Then you both go on with your life like I never existed."

Matt turned towards my and grabs both of my hands and squeezed them "No you don't understand. We gave you a chance. A chance to a normal, better life. We weren't going to take that away from you."

I scoff "please, you guys wanted me gone and that's what happened."

Matt runs a hand through his hair. Since I last saw him a couple weeks ago he looks older. He has some scruff on his chin and his once youthful eyes, look dull. He rubs the inners of his eyes "that's the last thing we wanted. It wasn't supposed to be like this."

I jump of the hood of my car and fling my arms up "then how do you want this to be Matt. I don't know if you noticed but I haven't seen you and Charlie in weeks. I haven't answered any texted of call for a reason. Yet it's not vailed enough for you guys to leave me alone. It's just taken my parents to die for me to realize that my feeling has never matter and that I'll always be second choice. For my parents, to Charlie and to you."

Matt looks at me painfully but I don't let him speak "I don't even matter enough for Charlie to come find me. He sends you or did he not even do that?"

Matt lets out a sigh and lays down on my windshield. "He was freaking out at your aunt and uncle when I realized I still had you on find my iPhone location. So I thought I'd come and talk to you one on one." There's a pause "you're the most important thing to Charlie and I."