Calming The Storms

~CHAPTER 28~

TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM

After a long day. My parents decided to go back at Batangas. I don't want to let them go but I think this is their coping mechanism.

"Uuwi na kami anak. Mag iingat ka dito, papadalhan kana lang namin ng pera pang-gastos mo." My mama wipe my tears and kiss my cheeks before waving their goodbye on me.

"Ethan, take care of them. Sila nalang meron ako ngayon." A warm hug by Ethan make me feel calm.

Amira, already left because she have a readings while Trixie is still here at my condo.

"Di ka ba uuwi Trix?" she close her gap before patting my shoulders.

Hinatid ko siya sa lobby bago siya nagpaalam sa akin.

"Hang on sweetie. I'll see you tomorrow at the school." she gave me a flying kiss and drive her mustang.

I'm all by myself at my condo. Ang mga luhang kanina pa gusto lumabas ay kusang pumatak.

I hate being strong, because they will never know how damage I am.

I open my drawer and get the blade that I always had. Yes, like Amira I'm hurting myself. But I always hide those scars.

Seeing blood dripping at my wrist, looking at myself at the mirror. Why can't I feel a physical pain?

I don't know how many times I cut myself. I lost my consciousness slowly...

But I heard Amira's voice.

"Hazel! Tangina gumising ka!" di ko na narinig ang sunod niyang sinabi at nawalan na ako tuluyan ng malay.

~~~~

I wake up with a white ceiling in front of me. Nasa hospital ba ako?

"Azel? Gising kana." I saw Amira looking at my wrist while crying. She draw the bandage with different emoticons.

"Ayoko maranasan mo ang naranasan ko Azel. Sorry kasi nandito ka sa sitwasyon na ayoko mangyari sayo." seryosong sermon sa akin ni Amira but my thoughts is in a far away place.

Tinalikuran ko siya at di pinakinggan.

Days passed nandito pa din ako sa hospital. I mean dinala na ako sa mental hospital.

I tried to jump at the rooftop. I didn't eat anything, only Amira knows it. I told her don't tell to anyone.

"Ma'am... kain na po kayo." my personal nurse called me but I just ignore her.

"Di pa din kumakain siya Doc ilang araw na siyang ganan. Kung di natin mapapakain baka mamaya..." hindi ko na tinapos pakinggan sila at tinakluban ng unan ang aking tenga.

Yohan, Ate miss you.

"Azel! Bakit ba ayaw mo kumain? Azel naman oh sa tingin mo matutuwa si Yohan kung susunod ka ha?!" sigaw ni Amira.

I feel a arrow strike at my heart and I started to cry again.

"I'm sorry Azel. Gusto ko lang tulungan ka na bumangon muli. Hinahanap kana nina Trixie at Ethan pati na din sina Tita. Kaya please help yourself to heal." sobrang higpit ng yakap niya na para bang wala ng bitawan pa.

~~~

It's been 2 weeks simula nandito ako, may konting progression na. I already told my professors that I will graduate late because I'm still mourning.

While I'm at the garden of this mental facility, someone sit beside me.

"Sor-ry..." that's her only word as she cried while hugging me.