Time Heals

Crash

[Listen to Falling For You by The 1975 for this chapter ;) ]

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"What's that on your wrist?"

He says and my heart starts beating uncontrollably.

"Nothing," I try to pull my hand away from his but his grip is strong.

"Are those...cuts?" He asks with wide eyes.

"Dan, please just let my hand go," I beg, tears collecting in my eyes.

"Carmen, the blood is barely dried up in that one," he rolls up my sleeve and points at one hideous wound.

"I..." I have no idea how to react to this. I did not plan on that happening.

"Have you been doing that recently?" He looks at me with worry in his eyes.

I squeeze my eyelids shut and look away, tears flowing on my cheeks.

"Why would you do that? You're so beautiful, why would you do that to yourself?" His voice cracks ever so slightly on the last part, but I notice it.

"I told you you don't know shit!" I try to raise my voice but it's barely above a whisper.

"That does not answer my question," he's trying so hard not to hurt me by his words and I can practically hear the concern in his tone. "Carmen, we all have secrets but holding in to them the way you are now, is dangerous."

I don't dare look at him. I'm too afraid of reading the judgement on his face. I don't want him to judge me.

"Please..," I sob and say weakly not sure what I am pleading for exactly.

"Let me tell you a story. My father died when I was thirteen. He used to be everything to me. We used to do everything together. He would take me fishing every Sunday and my mom would get mad because we came back late," he starts and instantly grabs my attention. I look at the boy who is willing to tell me his story without me even asking with a blurry vision. I don't know why he's telling me this but I won't stop him.

"He would take me out on a boat every now and then. I would be the happiest boy alive. My mom would make us these chocolate chip cookies and all three of us would watch TV 'til an unhumanly hour. But this one day..," he stops to inhale some air, "this one day a man comes pounding on our door. He told me to go upstairs and not come down untill he tells me to. So I did, but I didn't go to my room. I heard everything. I saw everything. The man kept shouting something about his money and my mom kept pleading him for more time. Then I heard the loudest noise in the world. It was the loudest, most horrible sound I've ever heard," he stops and his his voice is so shaky he can barely control it. "It was a gunshot, followed my my mom's screams."

I gasp slightly at his words and I could feel warm tears trickle down my face for him. He doesn't deserve any of this.

"I'm so sorry," I say and I know it won't make the pain go away, not even in the slightest bit, but I have no idea what else to say.

"My mom was severely depressed after his death. So was I, but she would not even talk. She was so weak and I had never seen my mother that way. She started...," he lets a tear fall, "she started doing what you are doing. And I don't know if it's because of this, but she died eight moths after my dad's death."

I stay still not knowing what to do or say. This boy experienced the death of both his parents in one year. I have no idea how he didn't turn bitter. I have no idea why he didn't go off the rails. He is still sweet and kind as he can ever be. The more he kept talking, the more I feel myself falling for his strength and bravery. My respect for him has reached a level that nobody has ever reached.