Time Heals

Closer

Five days have passed

Five days have passed and within those five days I started warming up to everyone. I don't specifically remember all our habits and our inside jokes, but when I smelled Sandra's perfume, it triggered some memories. When Jane served me her 'special Italian pasta' I remembered the taste of it. When Marcos made a silly joke, I laughed along.

When Dan put his hand on mine, I felt butterflies.

When Dan fell asleep next to my bed, I felt giddy.

When Dan caressed my cheek, thinking I was asleep, I felt my insides churn in anticipation.

I have been taking my medication regularly and I feel better than how I used to be before. I'm not always blue and hollow on the inside anymore. I feel like I'm surrounded with people who really care about me.

I'm disgusted by the marks on my wrist. I want to wipe them away, but I can't and it makes me think so lowly of myself. I'm supposed to be stronger than that. I shouldn't have hurt myself that way.

I got nightmares every other night, reminding of something so familiar, that I think I am so close to figuring out what it is. What scares me is that I feel like it's not a very colorful memory, and I don't think I'm ready to remember the bad things before the good things.

The doctors let me out today. Right now, I'm sitting at the edge of my bed. I remember the house well. I know I'm progressing because the doctor said that I will only remember old stuff at first then the fairly new stuff.

I love how the small group of people never leave me alone. And I mean never leave me alone. They take turns to keep me busy.

Sandra was with me all morning at the hospital, helping me with my small bag of clothes, along with Annie. Jane, Marcos and Dan were already at the house when we arrived and when I asked Annie how they got in, she told me Jane had the house key.

Looks like we were so close after all.

"Hey, do you need anything?" Marcos knocks on the already open door.

"No, thank you," I smile and look around the room again. It feels like I haven't been here for so long. The surroundings feel slightly foreign, but not much to make me uncomfortable.

"You know, another thing you don't remember, is that you loved giving me money and buying me stuff," he says with a grin as he sits next to me.

"Really? That sounds like a weird hobby," I laugh.

"Well, you loved doing so. I told you you should stop, but you always insisted," he smiles sadly.

"Awwe I must've been a very kind person," I placed a hand on my chest.

"Very," he agrees.

"Shut up, I may have lost my memory but I'm not an idiot," I swatted his head.

"Hey! Don't hit me! I was just trying to help," he defends with a humorous smile.

I roll my eyes and he pulls me in a bear hug.

"Do you remember stuff now?" He pouts against my hair.

"I wish I did," I sigh.

"But you act like you act loke you do," he frowns down at me.

"I don't remember everything Marcos, just that we were very close, and somehow, this was enough to make me feel comfortable with all of you," I say referring to everybody downstairs.

"Well..," he looks down and fiddles with his fingers, "d-do you you remember uhh..."

"What?" I rest my cheek on my hand.