Time Heals

Toxic

Songs for the chapter:

I wanna be yours -Arctic Monkeys
Only love -Ben Howard

*******

One year ago.

"Come on, Carmen. What do you have to lose," Collin smirked down at me, awaiting my response.

"I-I-everything! This isn't right! I'm not even supposed to be talking to you right now!" I fired and it didn't seem like it affected him because he only took a step closer and huffed his cigarette smoke in my face.

"But you already are," the smoke in his mouth escapes with each word he says.

I give him my best glare but it doesn't intimidate him the least bit. His hands move to my sides and he holds the cigarette between his teeth before dropping it on the floor, the lit part almost touching my arm.

"What the hell?! I almost got burnt," I pound on his chest with my small fists. He doesn't budge an inch.

"You really need to relax, sugar. Just one drag," he challenges me holding out the toxic substance between his fingers.

"I don't smoke weed,"I clenched my fists beside me and grinded my teeth together, angrily.

"You'll like it. Just trust me on this," he licks his lips and steps closer to me. "Don't you wanna forget all the shit?" He whispers in my ear and all the words are stuck in my throat.

"I.." I want to forget. I want to forget that my parents are never here for me. I want to forget that I spent half my life on airplanes, flying to business meetings. I want to forget that I lost my parents when I already had them.

"You what?" He smirks again.

"I don't know you. Why should I trust you, anyway? You will tell everyone," I take a step back, only to be met by a wall.

"You looked sad so I'm trying to cheer you up here, is it so unbelievable that I want to help you? I won't tell anyone, Carmen. It'll be our little secret. " He raises his brow and I swallow.

"But you were so rude to me in all the other parties. What changed your mind?"

"I realized you're pretty and lonely at this party," he lifts my chin to meet his eyes.

I wrestle with my conscience, she is telling me to ignore this guy and just leave. I can just leave and it will be over. My crazy side urges me to stay, though. She is begging me to take the cigarette and help her forget the ache. She is weeping and she needs to be saved at any cost. My demons convince me that this is my only savior. That Collin and what he is offering are my rescue from this state of drowning I'm in.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" He asks me casually and I freeze in my spot.

"Yes," I reply truthfully and wonder what Dylan would think of me if I accepted the cigarette.

He will hate you. I remind myself.

"This will be fun, then. Is he here?" he scared the shit out of me.

"No. W-what do you mean?" I stutter, palms wet.

"I mean fun, sugar. Ever heard of it?" He chuckles and the sound alone makes a shiver take over my body.

"We have very different definitions of fun," I narrow my eyes.

"I bet my definition of fun is a lot funner that yours," his thumb draws circles on my cheek. His eyes are sparkling with anticipation and I don't miss the plastered smirk on his lips. Something about him makes my heart race and my stomach twist in knots. I know this feeling...it's almost close to what I feel with Dylan. But this is so much stronger.