Time Heals

Love

Songs for the chapter:

Georgia -Vance Joy

Certain things -James Arther

****

I freeze in my spot, not knowing how to respond. Do I love him back? Hell yeah I do. I want to tell him that I love him too. I want to scream the four words that I should say but I find myself lost in his eyes, my own heartbeat drumming in my ears.

I don't know what that feeling is but I feel like I'm about to be uncovered. I have a secret I'm keeping from him and that's exactly what I shouldn't be doing. I wish I could just tell him everything but I truly can't. Not only emotionally but also physically. His words paralysed me in some way and I can't say a thing.

"Carmen.." His says my name and I can feel my hands start going cold. "Listen I get it if you can't say it back yet but–"

I smack my lips on his and start kissing him senseless. Oh god what am I doing. Oh my god stop shit oh my god. Instead of being mature about this and tell him what I should have told him a long while ago I just kiss him.

The kiss is deep and filled with emotions, almost like I'm expressing all the words I can't say. I try to tell him to stay and not run. I try to tell him that he's my hope in life and that he saved me from drowning in my world of depression and woes. I try to tell him all that through one simple kiss but I don't think he understands. To him it's just 'I love you too' but to me it's much more than that.

His hands are im my hair and mine are around his neck, thumbs rubbing circles gently on the skin there. Just as he puts his hand on my waist, my mom calls for us to eat dinner.

Not the time mother.

We both groan in disappointment and Dan lets out a breathy laugh before getting up. He offered his hand and I took it, not hesitating.

"You know I really wasn't expecting that kiss," he smirks and I bite my lip. "You looked almost disappointed when I told you.."

"I'm not disappointed. At all. Hell I'm on top of the world right now. But I'm scared. On so many levels Dan you don't even know," I sigh and look down at my moving feet.

"I do. I get it," he shoots me a gorgeous innocent white smile.

"No Dan. You don't," I smile sadly. He gives me a confused look but I ignore it and head to the dinner table where my parents and sister were seated.

*******

"That was an interesting night," Dan says as he takes off his shoes before lying down on my bed.

"Did you like the food?" I smile mischievously remembering how fast he was eating downstairs.

"Oh don't start on that. I was hungry and the food was bomb as hell," he defends himself and I laugh at his attitude.

"Whatever you say princess," I mock him and lie down next to him on my neatly made bed.

"Let's not talk about your mom's cooking skills and talk about something more interesting," he winks and I get the hint right away. I remember that I basically have to come clean about everything sooner than I think. I try to muster up the courage to tell him right here and right now but I don't want to ruin a perfect night.