Wouldn't Leave You (A Captain America Fan fiction)

Darkness and Light

Chapter 22 - Rachel Stark

Where am I? 

I feel like I am swimming deep in the ocean, frantically grasping for the top. I try to open my eyes without success. I try moving my legs, toes, fingers, anything, but nothing seems to work.

I can't move. 

I panic, my brain sounding alarms that my body can't respond to. I try taking a breath, but every time I inhale it is like a dagger to my lungs. 

"I'm so happy it worked." 

Who was that? My physical pain gets cast aside, my whole consciousness focusing on my surroundings. I hear more scattered conversations, unable to identify any of the voices. Eventually, the noise dies down and I drift off. 

After a good amount of time being accompanied by nothing, I feel something brush the skin of my hand. Gentle and soft. Not like a needle or a wire, those have felt like sparks. This feels like brushing my hand against the blankets in my bed at home. Then, something creaks. It sounds like a door opening. The warmth on my skin ceases. 

"Steve, you need to go home for a little while." 

Clint! That voice sounds like Clint. My mind eases, processing the fact that I am safe somewhere, although I am still not sure where. 

"No, I can't leave her here alone." 

Oh, Steve! I play his statement over in my head again, listening to his voice. It calms my mind even more knowing that he is here. His voice sounds pained... Guilt seeping through his tone. My mind darkens, feeling his guilt wash over me. 

This was never his fault. It was my own cowardice that led us to this moment. I froze up and let every damn memory of that snake paralyze me on the spot, rendering me useless. 

There was another long silence. Nothing moved or breathed around me until something grazed my other hand. 

"Rach, it's me," Tony pauses and I feel my shoulder rotate. Suddenly, the feeling rushes back into my palm. I feel Tony's hand wrapped around mine. "I know you probably can't hear me but if you can, you gotta hear this. I'm a hot mess. Steve is a wreck." I hear him take another breath. 

"Rach, you gotta live for us. For me, for Natasha, and Steve. You've gotta shake this." I feel something small hit my hand. A tear? "It is really different here without you." he sets my hand down and I hear him lean back in his chair.

"I love ya, Rach. You are the best little sister anyone could ask for." He taps my hand gently, then pulls away again. I focus all of my energy on trying to reach out to him. First, I try my eyes. I pull and pull, I even try to surprise my brain by just flinging them open but it doesn't work. 

Next, I try my hand. Lifting it was a nonstarter before, but now I had some feeling back in my hands. I try lifting my fingers one at a time, all failing. 

Finally, I try my voice. I could feel that there was no tube in there anymore so I took a deep breath in. I try for a few seconds with only a few breaths coming out. I try one more time, focusing all I can on my vocal cords. A low, short hum escapes past my lips. I hear the chair scrape back in the room.  

"Rach! Rach, can you hear me?" Tony says, grabbing my hand again. I put all of my effort behind my hand, squeezing slightly. He laughs and sniffs.  

"Can you open your eyes?" he asks. I try, pulling my eyelid upward. 

"Before you try again, try moving something else," he suggests. I try my toes and I hear him gasp. "Rach your toes," I try my other hand slowly, feeling the sheets of the bed against my hand. "Try your eyes."