Scarred

Chapter 18.

Theo

My mind stops spinning just for a moment as I anxiously peer at the coffee coloured table my hands are resting on. But, as I am placed back onto planet Earth, I feel all my consistent heavy thoughts come rushing back, and they all lead to one conclusion.

"Am I that obvious?" I finally ask, but I already know the answer.

"Obviously not to your sidekick, or else he wouldn't be hounding you the way he is."

"He doesn't know."

"So why don't you just tell him?"

The drink is placed in front of me, and I pick it up and stare into it.

"Oh, I see. It's either his girl, his sister or his mom."

"You're good at this, aren't you?" I wonder sarcastically.

"You pick up on a lot of character traits when you work in a bar," he says. "So which one is it?"

I begin to shake the drink from side to side rhythmically, simultaneously savouring the craved taste that has been so wrongfully parted from my tongue all this time.

My mind fixates on the one thing it hasn't been able to escape from for far too long now. It's like a punishment that cannot be rectified, despite the rehabilitative mindset the criminal now has.

"I wish she loved me back. She loves him. Not me," I finally moan.

"His girl it is then. Ooh, that's gnarly bro. Wait... This isn't Eliza, is it?"

My eyes immediately switch up to meet his at the mention of her. "How do you know her?" I ask a little too quickly.

"Well, they have been going out for years. They used to come to this bar together."

"They broke up. But then they got back together."

"How do you know her?" He asks.

"She helped me, when I really needed help."

"With your... Situation?"

I look up at him, and suddenly his face becomes very familiar to me.

"I've seen you around, bro," he continues. "I give you money."

"Thanks," I say, spinning the vodka around in the cup.

"This is on the house, by the way," he points at the drink. Normally, I would refuse to be looked at and treated like a charity case, but seeing as I'm in a mood of feeling sorry for myself, I can't argue.

"See she didn't just give me money. She gave me a house. She gave me love. And I pushed her away." I gulp down the drink, and place the cup in front of him again. He hesitates again, but still takes the cup regardless.

"Why did you push her away?"

"Because it's scary. I've never felt like this before. I don't understand how I feel. I feel like my chest is closing whenever I see her. I feel like I can't breathe, and then I get this-this thing in my belly. This feeling-"