A Midsummer Night's Fling

Chapter Ten

Chapter Ten

Aithne

In my dreams they haunted me—each one beckoning me to choose them, longing and hunger filled their eyes. The events of the past few days had left me completely torn, and I wasn't surprised my pillow was wet from tears.

My heart was heavy as residual emotions churned within me. Confused, I dressed quickly and headed to the one place I knew I could find some semblance of peace—my mother's grave.

My slippered feet flew over the ground as I was drawn to the small marker Papa and Owen had created for her. Even though she'd been gone several years, the pain of missing her—not seeing her—still hurt. The hole that was left especially ached during moments like this. She would have counseled me in the matters of the heart, and even though she wasn't here, she remained one of my truest confidantes.

I picked a few wild flowers and continued on. My spirit lifted as I approached her final resting place. Walking reverently, I slowed my pace, knelt before her, and wiped away the fallen debris that had collected around the wooden cross.

It was simple, but had been crafted with absolute love. I remember watching while my father and brother exchanged favored memories as they had built it and then worked on carving a small name plate. Never had I doubted my mother was devoted to her family, and by the time they were finished creating the grave marker, more tears and laughter had been shared.

My fingers trailed over her name—Sorcha Gowan. I closed my eyes, trying to recall how it sounded when we called her and she responded. It was barely a whisper now, and my heart hurt realizing the time would soon come when I wouldn't remember. I reminded myself that I would always know how it made me feel, but it still filled me with a flitter of panic. I didn't want to lose that part of her.

"Morning, Mama," I spoke with a low voice. Removing the old flowers, I arranged the freshly picked ones so it looked like spring had chosen this one spot to bless with its beauty. I'd made sure I'd selected her favorites, and I imagined her being able to smell their sweet fragrance up in Heaven. "There's so much to tell you. I wish you were here."

I drew both Hadrian and William to my mind which brought the tangled mess of feelings my dream created. What had seemed like a fantasy come true—an adventure at first—had soon become a nightmare. Two men held my heart in their hands, and I did not know which choice was correct.

"I'm in love, but it isn't like you think. I scarcely know how it occurred—things like this don't happen—but I find myself torn between the affections of both a Fae and a childhood friend. For the first time in my life I cannot determine which path I should follow—the fulfillment of a young girl's fairytale fantasy, or a future that will be filled with love and promise. The deeper I fall, the more fickle I feel. I know a decision must be made before someone gets hurt and I try—truly—but then something happens. A touch or glance from either one and I'm confused again. I wish you were here, Mama. Show me what to do."

Tears fell gently as I stared pleadingly at the sky. If only I could reach up, pluck her from the heavens, and bring her back to me. It wasn't fair she was there—hidden—when I desperately needed her counsel. Even though there have been many instances where I've missed her, this morning I noticed her absence more keenly.

In the beginning I used to come here daily, bringing a new bargain to offer God if he'd return my beloved mother. I would sit dawn to dusk, baring my soul until my eyes drooped in exhaustion, and my father would send Owen to fetch me. Weeks turned to months and still she remained in the world of spirits. Those childlike pleas resurfaced in my thoughts and my tears turned to sobs.