The Queen

winter roses

The next morning when I opened my eyes, I was in the same position I had been before I had fallen asleep last night, I was currently still sitting by the window where I had simply wrapped myself in a blanket before coaxing myself to sleep; I looked outside through the winder and noticed that the weather for once matched my mood, it was quite cloudy and raining a bit, but I knew for a fact that the entire day would be gloomy and cold. I changed into some black jeans, a white blouse and a long beige coat paired with my black knee boots, I placed on my blonde wig and contacts before I headed downstairs, once I got there I noticed that Justin had slept in the couch, he had probably tried to stay up in case I decided to sneak out of the house again, given the fact that last night he had instructed some of the pack members to station outside my window in case I planned to climb out again, the only vial option for me left had been the main door, but at this point it wasn't worth the trouble, so today I decided to simply skip breakfast and leave the house without using my motorcycle, I needed some time to think.

As I walked slowly towards the school in complete silence watching how the rain fell I had so many thoughts, fears and questions that kept hovering in my mind, I couldn't stop thinking about my situation with the pack, when the time came how was I going to explain them the fact that I had found my mate? Also, what would happen if I ran into my mate again, besides I also wondered why I was so afraid of my mate, but was I afraid of my mate or of the idea of having one?

And of course, the most obvious one was to apologize to Justin, I had overreacted last night, I was out of place and Justin had only worried for my wellbeing.

But putting all that drama to the side the most important thing that bothered me today the most were the memories that still lingered frim this day, I just couldn't bear the thought of how different my life would be if Rick had never intruded in my life, if he hadn't attacked out pack. I would constantly wonder if my mother would have made me that fifteen party like she always wanted, would it had gone smoothly, or would my mom had to force me inside a dress? And my dad, would he still be one true person I could always come in for aid and protection, would he had taught me how to drive before I turned sixteen or would Drew be the one to teach me?

How would things have gone when I got my first boyfriend or my shift as a werewolf, would they had understood what would happen to me?

It wasn't like I was alone because Justin and Old Pa' were always there for me, Old Pa' had been the former Alpha, he was Justin's father and he had been the one to legally adopted me, Justin was simply my guardian for most of the time but the one person that would be responsible for me until I turned eighteen would be Justin's dad. But still even at this point I still wanted to know how my life could have been, would I be happy and strong, of maybe weak since I wouldn't have been exposed to so much danger and hurt, would I be the princess that my daddy always said I was?

Lost in my thoughts I never did realize when, but I soon found myself in school and I saw that my friends were already there.

"Hey Snow." Sandy said as she arrived at my side and handed me the fake black rimmed glasses.

"Thanks." I said giving her a small smile.

"Hey, how are you feeling today?" Zane asked as he placed his arm around me and gave me a concerned look.

"I'll survive, don't worry." I told Zane in a small voice as I tried to be stronger, to not cry.

"Well, I'm going to be next to you all day making sure that you are fine, I'll be here if you need me." Zane said as he pulled me closer to him.

"What about Lena, is it alright with you?" I asked as I looked at her worried, but she simply shook her head and gave me a small smile.

"She understands the situation, I explained to her why today you will need me more than ever." Zane said as he rubbed my arm and Lena smiled at me softly.