Not just sandy toes and salty kisses.

chapter two

"Lily sweetie, wake up we here," my mom whispers quietly.
I open my eyes suddenly sending a rush of light into into them, sparking a splitting headache. My neck feels so stiff as I sit up, probably because I was sleeping awkwardly against the car door. One mistake one never learns.

I sit up straight while stretching my arms out in front of me to help loosen up my forever tense shoulders. I like to think of myself as an extremely relaxed person, I hate worrying over stuff and over analysing situations its just unnecessary, its not going kill me, I don't think. For some reason though deep down I am fretting over everything, I sometimes wake up in the night remembering something that needed to be done even though its no big deal I still wake and I have to talk myself back into a calm state. Even now before I talk to someone I plan out the entire conversation over and over inside my head to make sure everything sounds respectful or cool depending on the audience or person. But I still mess up even after.

As I clim out the car I mentally prepare myself for when I see my grandparents. They from England making them very proper about everything. This is shown from the way they drink tea only out of tea cups with saucers, to the way my grandad gives me that look when I hold my fork wrong or if I start slouching, another bad habit I have never grown out of. Will they ask me the same old questions about school or my not really thought out future, comment on how big I've gotten since I saw them, a summer ago? I go through it step by step in my head to make sure im polite and I don't throw in any sarcasm or attitude if they ask me a question I think is ridiculous.
As I make my way up the deep back porch steps of their beach house, carrying way to many bags then needed, I just pray that they dont talk about Adam straight away his absence is bad enough on its own, and I dont have the energy to cry right now. If only something magical could happen that his plans with his friends could change and he could rather come spend the summer with me. Selfish I know but I guess what else can you expect, I have generally always gotten what I have wanted when it came to Adam. Why did I bring so many bags, they all stuffed with things that are supposed to make me happy I guess. I mean why did I pack my black stiletto boots, I'm going to be staying in a beach cottage for the whole summer, where is there to go?

By the time I reach the top of the stairs, my knees feel like im going to buckle and under the weight. I feel absolutely exhausted having no idea if its physically or emotionally. I know granny and gramps are going to be full of questions, so I won't be going to bed anytime soon, best get over it I suppose. My mom drops her wheel bag hard down on the floor next to me giving me a huge fright, as my chain of thought is broken. I look down to where it landed, my eyes bulge in shock as I notice how close it is to my left foot. I look up at her, as she whispers "sorry" I can feel the anger igniting within me, but she is saved by the outside light flickering on.

I guess the bang from the bag indirectly told everyone we are here. Knowing I only have about three seconds before the door opens. I suck in deep breath fulling up my lungs until they begin to burn, slowly letting out the air, I pull myself together. Replacing my contoured frown with a calm snug smile, knowing my mother is doing the same.