Writing Tips

Sarcasm Remarks

In this chapter, I am gonna showcase a list of sarcastic remarks you can use for your characters that are perfect for different personalities and scenarios in novels and stories:

General Sarcasm

"Oh, please, tell me more about how the world revolves around you."

"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."

"Wow, you sound so much smarter when you don't talk."

"If I wanted to hear from you, I'd have just listened to the sound of a balloon deflating."

"Oh, you have an opinion? Let me add that to my collection of things I don't care about."

"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."

"Oops! My bad, I forgot you were an expert on everything."

Sarcasm for Awkward Situations

"Sure, because awkward is my default setting."

"Why use common sense when you can make it weird?"

"Oh, so you're the one who brought the awkward. I was wondering."

"If awkwardness was an Olympic sport, I'd give you a gold medal."

For the Clueless

"Yes, I can see how that idea sounded good in your head."

"You're like a black hole of common sense, aren't you?"

"That was so clever, I'm sure it made sense in an alternate reality."

"If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd have exactly zero dollars."

When Someone is Annoying

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were the center of the universe."

"Oh look, it's the world's smallest violin playing just for you."

"I'd love to listen to you, but I have other things to pretend to care about."

"Please, continue. I'm desperately trying to stay awake."

For a Know-It-All

"Thanks, Sherlock, where would I be without your dazzling insights?"

"Wow, that's almost impressive how wrong you managed to be."

"You should put that in a book called 'Things Nobody Asked For'."

"You must save a fortune on mirrors, since you already know how great you are."

Sarcasm About Their Own Situation

"I'm living my best life, clearly. Can't you tell by my enthusiasm?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did my struggle to exist interrupt your comfort?"

"Yeah, because nothing says 'I'm doing fine' like eating cereal at 3 a.m."

"Everything is going great, if by 'great' you mean 'on fire'."

Situational Sarcasm for Relationships

"Oh, sure, because relationships are never complicated at all."

"Let me guess, you're about to tell me how 'different' you are."

"Of course, I love being ignored—it's my favorite hobby."

"Thank you for that unsolicited advice. I'll be sure to ignore it promptly."

For People Who Think They're Funny

"If only your sense of humor matched your confidence."

"Oh, stop! My sides—they might actually split from this 'comedy.'"

"I'd laugh, but I don't want to encourage you."

"Wow, did you think of that all by yourself, or did Google help?"

These remarks could add some spice to a character's dialogue, making them come across as snarky, clever, or even cutting!