Writing a BDSM romance novel requires a nuanced understanding of the dynamics involved, as well as a commitment to portraying the relationships, themes, and characters with sensitivity, authenticity, and respect. Below is a comprehensive guide to crafting such a novel, along with helpful tips and insights into existing works and controversies.
Years ago when I was in my early 20's, I tried to write a interracial romance story that centers around BDSM, however; it didn't seem right and I didn't thoroughly educate myself on the BDSM community. I included some of the examples that would help you comprehend while writing a BDSM romance story. And since it's almost ten years since the cultural phenomenon of Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James, a book that was released in 2011, turned into a movie was released in theaters before Valentine's Day 2015.
I've read the first book and watched three films. Let me tell you--it was criiiiingeworthy! The two lead actors lacked chemistry, but the movies had the OK songs, except Beyonce and Taylor Swift featuring Zayn Malik (no offense to the readers who adore Zayn Malik). The trilogy films are the type of movies to watch when you're bored.
1. Understand BDSM: Research Thoroughly
BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism. It's essential to:
Understand the psychological, emotional, and physical aspects of BDSM.
Familiarize yourself with BDSM practices, tools, and etiquette.
Learn about the importance of consent, communication, and aftercare, which are central to healthy BDSM relationships.
Imagine your protagonist (he/she) is new to BDSM. (He/she) starts researching online, attending workshops, and joining local BDSM community events. This allows readers to learn alongside the character. For instance:
Scene snippet: Your character attends a BDSM munch (a casual meet-up) and nervously introduces him/herself. The experienced Dominant hosting the event emphasizes the importance of negotiation and safety, easing their concerns.
Dialogue Example:
Host: "BDSM isn't about pain or control—it's about trust. Without consent, there's no play. Period."
Resources:
Books: The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
Online communities and forums: FetLife, BDSM Reddit threads.
Real-life experiences: If possible, speak to individuals in the BDSM community to gain authentic insights.
2. Develop Well-Rounded Characters
Your characters should have depth beyond their roles in the BDSM dynamic. Consider:
Their motivations for exploring BDSM.
Emotional and psychological complexities.
Personal growth throughout the story.
Avoid stereotypes, such as portraying Dominants as cruel or submissives as weak.
Dominant Character: Marcus is a confident Dominant who works as a therapist. His dominance comes from a desire to nurture and protect, not from a need to control others.
Submissive Character: Lily is an independent lawyer intrigued by the idea of giving up control in a safe environment. Her curiosity drives her to explore submission, but she also struggles with vulnerability.
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Writing Tips
Non-FictionA guide for readers turning writers to learn from grammar, punctuation, body languages, character development, copyrighting, vocabulary, and overcoming a writer's obstacle; writer's block. Also, this story will help an author to remind them that the...
