Just Hold My Hand

Chapter Fourteen- Charlotte

Charlotte's P.O.V.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My hand connected with his face like a clap of thunder. I could actually feel the lightening though, just with that brief electric touch. It was not supposed to hurt, just get him to stop talking. I'm sure it hurt me more. It always did.

I couldn't take it anymore. My heart was broken, and nothing was going to fix it. He was perfectly content with his true love. I was alone, trying to get by with a replacement. Another Andrew as a matter of fact.

He made the first move, my other Andrew. He asked me to sit with him, and he told me that we were the ones going on the blind date. He never mentioned how he found out, and I never cared to ask if it was true. We were set to go on the date together, with James and Carly, and also... Andrew and Kathleen. Their names sound nice together. They are meant to be, I was just going against reason and nature for a while.

I'm over it now. No reason to dwell on a broken heart. Another broken heart. My heart has been through war and back again many times before, this is no different. I just take a deep breath and get over it. Drew was willing to wait for me to recover, to get used to loving someone else. He claims he loves me, and I just tell him I don't know yet.

With Andrew, it took me a long time to realize I loved him, so why not with Drew. I'll just give it some time, and try to forget my other love before I start a new one.

I learned a valuable lesson the day our friendship died, and part of me, when it comes to true love or true friendship. If you are asked to choose, to make a decision, choose friendship. It hurts less. I had chosen love and my heart was broken. He chose too, but he had someone to love.

Andrew and I are not best friends anymore, and I have fallen out of love with him. That's what I repeat to myself every time I catch myself over thinking him. Decisions are made, and one must learn to live with them. I chose not to be best friends too, not him. I just can't be with him too long without remembering why I loved him. So I choose to stay away.

Drew has taken a liking to spending time with me lately anyway, so I tend to be regularly occupied. No need for him. Drew says he loves me, and that he is willing to stay with me through all of this. I can trust him already, he's not going to break my heart. I won't let him. I haven't even given him the option.

When Andrew went to apologize, I had to silence him. I didn't want him to apologize, I wanted him to change his mind. Secretly, deep down, that's what I wanted. When some one apologizes, they aren't going back on their word, they are just saying they wish you could be alright with it. I can't be fine with him, not with him loving some one else. I have to stop pretending, so I stopped being his best friend, because I stopped being just his best friend a long time ago.

I had considered just telling him that day. Since we were no longer best friends, but then I saw him with her. I saw them sitting together, and cuddling, and even whispering. Mostly done by her granted, but considering what happened, it was understandable. He was just as in love as she appeared to be.

So once I saw that, my heart was officially out the window. There was nothing that could repair it, so I gave up on trying. My confession would only hurt me more when he rejected it. When he told me it wasn't mutual, but he wanted to stay friends, just friends. I couldn't do that.

Yes, I still love him. I can't just stop. No one can just stop loving someone. I believe no one ever truly stops, but I think I can get over this. I may regret it for the rest of my life, but that's just how it will have to be. We make our choices, and we live with them.