Love Can Be Hard

Chapter 1

One day I just decided to go to Chicago face my fears and meet up with Xander, Les and them all. I bought the plane ticket and waited. As I sat there I fought an internal battle with my mind on whether I should really do this or not. Finally I chose to just do it. I knew it would be hard and I would be scared, but the end was worth it to me. I wanted to see them for real. I got onto the plane and sat in the window seat looking out upon the tarmac, wondering if they would like me.

The plane finally touched down in Chicago after a grueling two hour flight. Ok it may not have been grueling for others but it was for me. I was scared to death. Xander knew I was coming today but didn't know I had taken an earlier flight. Les knew I planned on coming there but didn't know I was going to come this day. 

I got off the plane following everyone else to the baggage claim area. Grabbing the one duffel bag I packed to bring, I turned around not sure where to go from there. All of a sudden I was surrounded by people and began to panic. I started hyperventilating. I couldn't breathe. I was freaking out and my body started shaking. I made my way through all the people with my head down mumbling a sorry when I bumped into someone. I found my way to a back corner and collapsed onto the floor. I pulled my legs up to my chin and buried my head into my arms after crossing them over my knees.

I tried gulping down the fear that was overwhelming me. Then I had a thought, 'Xander! He will help me if I call him.' I pulled my cellphone out of the front pocket on my jeans. Hands shaking horribly I sent him a text.   {Dadz... Um can u come get me?}  I sat there trying to figure out how to breathe normally again as I waited for a return text.

Finally it came. {Get you? Where are you baby girl? What's wrong?} Hands still shaking I texted him again. {At the airport I can’t breathe I’m freaking out too many ppl...} again I waited for a reply. I didn't have to wait long. {Holyshoes! You're early!}  {Wait... What happened? Why are you freaking out?} 

I sent another text. {At the airport I thought I was ok, but there’s so many ppl here I panicked} It was a minute or two before the next reply came. {Which airport?} Sighing I texted back {Chicago}. Then a reply came, {Ok hold on baby girl I’m coming to get you}. I just typed back {Thanks dadz}. 

I sat there waiting for him to get there. I still wasn't sure if I would panic more seeing him, but it was worth a shot when I was in a complete panic attack with all the people around me. I knew that I loved and trusted Xander as family even though I hadn't actually met him.

I sat in the back corner hoping no one saw me while I waited for Xander to get there. As I sat hunched up in my little back space, I didn't notice the man who was watching me. That is until he walked over. "Are you ok? Is there anything I can get for you?" I couldn't bring myself to look up at him but vehemently shook my head no. I finally found my voice to speak. "No thanks I have someone coming for me." I chanced a glance up and thought I recognized him but couldn't be sure. I looked back down just as quickly.

Picking up my phone I discreetly sent another text. {There’s a creepy guy standing in front of me. I’ma kick him in a sec}. I got a reply of {LOL. Will be there soon baby hold on}. The man wouldn't go away as I hoped he would. I closed my eyes for a second thinking maybe it might help me to control my panic attack. It wasn't helping. Not with the man standing so close to me. 

Finally I had enough. "Would you mind standing somewhere else?" I asked him while staring at the floor. Not thinking he heard me because he didn't reply or walk away, I glanced up to see he was on a phone. 'Great!' I thought. 'This idiot is making things worse for me and he doesn't even have the sense to realize it.'

 I cleared my throat. "Excuse me but kindly leave me be. There's a whole floor over there to stand on." He looked down at me and I wasn't sure if it was anger on his face or not but I wasn't chancing it. I growled low in my throat hoping he would get the hint and move it. He didn't. I sent another panic text to Xander asking if he could hurry. I thought to myself if this man doesn't leave soon I'm going to stand up and punch him square in the face. He was invading my personal space and I didn't like it one bit.