Love Can Be Hard

Chapter 10

A few hours later I was regretting that last thought. Not sure what happened between them but Xander and Har were on opposite sides of the building and wouldn't talk to or even look at each other. I was a bit smarter than to ask what happened. It was between them. I sighed as I turned to Les next to me. "Guess that failed. Knew I was a failure anyhow." I walked slowly toward my cousin Jake. "Hey Jakey, thanks for bringing her here but I guess you both should go. Once again I failed. I will never try anything like this again."

Jake gave me a one armed hug. "Rebi-girl listen to me, what happens with them has nothing to do with you. You did what you thought was right for both of them but it obviously wasn't meant to be. Don't kick yourself sweetie. You know that Har loves you as do I but this here.." he waved his arm around us. "This wasn't meant for Har. It was meant for you. You have an amazing guy over there, don't let this setback with Har and Xander get to you. My little sister has a lot on her plate right now, maybe this is her way of figureing out that she's not ready to get into a relationship just yet. And Xander over there?" we both looked at him as he talked to his friends. "He needs to find someone more like himself. He seems to be a good guy, I'm sure he will find someone eventually when he's ready for it. Don't make his love life your priority or it will come back to eat at you. Let it go Rebi-girl." I just nodded. Knowing Jake was right and getting it through to my heart that he was were two different things. But he was right, they weren't the right people for each other.

That's when I saw Har head toward Xander. She must have asked to speak to him alone because the next thing I know they are walking outside. Of course me being sneaky and feeling responsible for both followed to eavesdrop. What I heard was Har doing all the talking. She sounded so much like how I used to talk it surprised me. I began to wonder what it was Shaun had said and done during the time he had her a few days ago.

"Thanks for talking to me, I promise not to keep you too long." I heard Xander do a kind of grunt as a response before saying, "OK you wanted to talk so talk." I couldn't see them so I didn't know what was on either of their faces. I heard Har say, "If I had known Reb planned trying to get us together like this I never would have come to Chicago with Jake. You deserve so much more than this." I imagined her pointing at herself. "Jake and I are going to get a cab back to the airport and go home. I'm sorry I came here. You are a great guy Xan, one of these days you will find a great woman who deserves all that you have to offer her. Don't close out your heart entirely because of me. You and I weren't meant to be together, but that doesn't by any means say that you don't deserve someone to love you and for you to love. It just means it's not me. Good bye Xan."

I watched as Harlee came back inside and walked over to say something to Jake. He nodded then looked around, probably looking for me. I forced myself to walk over to them. "You're leaving aren't you?" I asked looking right at Harlee. She nodded. Jake is who spoke. "Yeah we are Rebi-girl. You know how to get ahold of me if you need to talk, but yes we should go home." I saw the person who had been like a sister to me look right at me with tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry Reb. I know this isn't how you saw me coming here, but it wasn't to be. I'm done here. And if you are thinking of going after Shaun yourself just forget about it young lady, he's not worth it. The only thing you will end up doing is bringing people down on you who you do not need to deal with. He's more dangerous than you think kiddo. This here will be the last time you see or hear from me, I'm leaving the country. It's the only way to keep Shaun away from me and my family. I won't tell you where I'm going because he will use it against you. You have the best man in Lester and I hope you both the best in life. Love him as I was unable to love his friend. Bye little cousin, I do love you Rebekah more than you know." Then she hugged me and walked away. That day was to be the last I was to see my cousin Harlee. 

I stood there watching as both Harlee and Jake left the restaurant and got into a cab. All I wanted to do at that moment was be alone and rip something apart. Once again I had been an idiot thinking I could make things better for both Harlee and Xander, two people who I loved dearly.

I had to remind myself not to let this affect me as it normally would. That's when I suddenly remembered all the people and looked around slowly. Finding where my boyfriend was with my eyes I quickly walked over to him. As I got right next to him I felt his arms wrap around me. "Are you okay hun?" I just nodded my head at him. "I guess I have to be." He hugged me tightly to him knowing it upset me more than I was letting on. I vowed to not let the remainder of this evening be ruined. After all this party was supposed to be for me. I smiled up at Les. "I love you." I told him. He grinned back at me. "I love you much hun."

I heard a good song come on so before I knew it I was in the middle of the floor pushing tables apart to make a dance floor and dancing. Soon a few others joined me and before I knew it there was a whole floor of people dancing alongside me. This was going to be a good night regardless of what had happened a little while ago.

Later that night I once again went back to Les' house with him to stay by ourselves. We curled up in bed and he asked me, "Are you sure you're alright hun? I know how you can get." Nodding I smiled at him. "Yes hun I'm alright. It is upsetting a little but there's nothing I can do about it. It was their decision." He agreed with me about that part. Laying next to Les I fell into a troubled deep sleep.