Not So Lonely Anymore (A Supernatural fan fiction)

Better but somehow worse

Sam's Pov
It had been a few days since Lila and I 's fight. We had been doing better she seemed a little happier and seemed to be healthier.
She was still a little withdrawn but trying to quit. I couldn't really be mad any more because she was getting better.
It was noon and we had all just had had lunch Bobby an Dean and I were looking for a new case Lila had went outside saying she was having a migraine and needed space. I have been considering taking her to the hospital for them but she said she would be fine.
"Sammy hey snap out of it" Dean called catching my attention. "Yeah what is it I'm sorry just have a lot on my mind" I replied. "You okay you have been in your head a lot lately" Bobby asked? "Yeah ,Lila has just been going through some stuff and she is choosing to do it alone so I'm just worried" I replied running a hand through my hair.
"She'll talk when she's ready Sam so stay patient you know how that is we all do" Dean explains. "I know but it won't stop me from worrying about her Dean" I reply. He nods and goes back to reading articles.
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Lila's Pov
I was sitting outside on the Volvo trying to relax. The demon blood was still in my system making me jittery, my hands were shaking and I was rocking back and forth. My hands were tingling my powers begging to be used but I can't do this . Don't do it think of Sam ,don't do it think of Sam ,don't do it think of Sam I repeated to myself like a mantra.
I closed my eyes and thought about Sam . His long brown hair that I loved to tangle my hands in. His hazel eyes that I loved to loose myself in. His beautiful full lips that could produce the most amazing smile I've ever seen.
I was calm again I just had to keep thinking of Sam because he was my life line the reason I cared anymore. He was the one person who made me feel beautiful even though I was covered in scars.
I started walking back to the house the need to use my powers forgotten. I opened the door slowly walking in. The house was warm compared to the frigid temperature outside. I walked over to the boys and they were discussing a case.
I sit next to Sam not really able to pay attention at that exact moment because my brain was electric like there were live wires inside my skull. I blink rapidly a few times trying to ignore it . Grabbing Sam's hand from under the table giving it a gentle squeeze.
He looks down at me with a soft smile as he rubs gentle circles into the back of my hand reassuring me even though he doesn't really know what he is reassuring me for.
The boys were done talking and it was decided we would be be leaving first thing in the morning . Sam pulled me down the hall and into our room. "Hey" I say giving him a hug breathing in his warm musky scent he always smelled of Oldspice and the woods mixed together in a delicious combo. "Hey" he replies pulling back and tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "You okay" he asks looking me over. "Yeah I'm good" I say as we go an sit on the bed.
He looks into my eyes seeing who knows what and smiling like I was the best thing in the world. I look down at my hands not being able to meet his gaze. I trace the scars on my right arm while he watched me I couldn't look at him.
Tilting my chin up forcing me to look at him he smiles a meek smile and begins talking . "Your beautiful Lila you know every thing about you outside and in" he states he holds my cheek and leaves little kisses from the scar starting at my eye brow and down to my chin. He takes off the long sleeve plaid shirt I had on revealing the spaghetti strap shirt I had on . He kisses down the scar on my shoulder then the one on my fore arm and to my hands. Moving to the other arm he repeated his actions. He lifted up my shirt kissing the scars on my sides and on my stomach . He got off the bed getting on his knees kissing the scars on what part of my legs were exposed from my long Jean shorts.
He sits back on the bed kissing away the tears on my cheeks before placing one last kiss to my lips and pulling back. He grabs my hand in both of his. "I love you Lila don't you ever forget that , I will always be here to talk about anything" he explains giving me a smile.
I crawl into his lap wrapping my legs around his waist an my arms around his neck. I hug him tight and say "I love you to Sam you mean everything to me don't forget that I know I have been hard to be around but I am trying to be better" I said crying into his shoulder. He rubs my back lovingly "I know Lila I've noticed the improvement" he replies hugging me tighter.
He picked me up as he layed on the bed laying me down with my head on his chest . We layed like that for hours just breathing. Eventually we got ready for bed I wore a pair of my shorts and one of his shirts and he wears a pair of pajama pants. He pulls down the covers and we layed down then he pulled them over us .
I cuddled to him listening to his heartbeat trying to drive away the buzzing of power in the back of my head and pushing away the vibrations in my hands . My last thought before closing my eyes was how much longer could I keep this hidden from everyone, and what would happen if they found out my secret.