Shattered (The Academy)

Chapter 24: The Girl Who Feels Too Much.

Author Note:

Dear reader. 

Wattpad has been unkind to me the couple of last... forever. You'll find that there is one chapter incomplete (Chapter 23) and Chapter 24 (this one) may or not be incomplete. Wattpad hasn't worried in taking my chapters back in forever, again, and I can't find the missing texts in my documents. So, I'm sorry. I can't rewrite (and I have before) because it's been a while since I wrote this, and If I'm being completely honest, I have absolutely no idea why I wrote the things that I wrote or what my reasons were. I do not remember what happened or... anything at all. If you have any question for a loophole, then you can ask and I will answer the best that I possibly can.

Thanks :D

Kaylan's point of view.

"I am still not sure what you want me to say" I mumble to Elizabeth sitting in front of the laptop.
"Honey" She says, but sounds exasperated "It's simple. Say your name.' Hello, my name is Kaylan'. Explain what you do here for her. The point is for her to get to know you. Are you ready?"
I nod.
"It's okay, sweetie" I hear Shannon, a weak voice in the back of my head "The Lord it's with you"
I nod and start recording. I'm already the last one, and I can't stop twisting the hem of the skirt. I don't really have a wardrobe. They just let me borrow whatever I'd like to wear. Except Mina, of course.
On the screen I see my face looking back at me. I swallow.
"Hi" I greet, my hands slightly shaking "My name is Kaylan. But you can call me Anxiety too" My try to make a joke doesn't turn out to well, so I laugh nervously "Sometimes I guess that's me. Or all the time. Anyway. They also called me The Girl Who Feels Too Much, back then, of course. But I guess you can't remember. I mean, I know you can't"
"KAYLAN" Mina calls my name, mad "FOCUS".
I shakw my head, trying to shake all the thoughts off. Then I smile again.
"I'm sorry. But that's just me: Anxious and... odd. I have OCD. Lake doesn't really likes me so much because of that. If you already saw the videos you know who she is. Thinking about it now, Mina doesn't like me either. But I guess that's okay because she hates everything and everyone"
"Damn right" I hear her mutter.
"But it's okay" I continue "Because Shannon and Amanda are nice. Elizabeth it's too, but you know how it is: She feels like she has to protect everybody. That's why she's here. And the reason why I am here is to take over when you feel nervous or anxious. That's... what I am. That's what you made me"
I lose my voice looking down on my fingers and clenching my hands.
"It's not fair" I mutter without thinking "But it's okay. I'm here to do what I have to do. And Amanda makes me believe, you know? That things can't be that bad, but being out here... it feels like the worst" My eyes start watering.
"Oh, my god, Elizabeth" I hear Mina say "Please do something"
"I'm sorry!" I cry, covering my eyes "I just can't help it!"
"It's okay, love" Amanda's voice is weak, almost a whisper. Almost like it never really happened "We are with you. We love you".
I hear Lake snort. How is that all of them are awake?
"Nobody loves you, Amanda".
"Women like you go to hell" She answers "I don't know why you're doing this. I never did anything to you"
"Don't say things like that!" Shannon gets in, sounding mad "Don't summon the devil in this house!"
"IF YOU WANT TO SEE DAYLIGHT EVER AGAIN YOU WILL SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET KAYLAN CONTINUE. AND KAYLAN, IF YOU KEEP FUCKING CRYING, THE ONLY THING YOU WILL EVER SEE IS SUNLIGHT".
She doesn't even yells, but her voice is strong like that.
I nod, feeling the threat deep inside.
"You don't know how we were created, and we're not quite based on feelings you had while you were growing up. Or not all of us. We're every part of you, but divided. They said you shattered. Like a mirror. Some of us evolved with time, as me and Mina. I became... "
"Incredibly annoying" Lake says in my head before I feel Mina feel anger, and then she's gone.
"Some say incredibly annoying. The truth is, I'm scared. Scared of people, and bacterias and the world. I don't like being out here. It makes me... feel. Feel too much. But even if you get cured I know wether I'll dissapear or be still there inside, somewhere. And I really don't want to stay!" I sob, breaking down at last. I just can't help myself.
"Oh, sweetheart" whispers Amanda.
"The Lord has big plans waiting for you, Kaylan" Shannon agrees.
I feel Jojo too, but says nothing.
"And you, Jojo?" Amanda insists "Aren't you gonna say anything?"
"On the contrary of you two, I care only for her well being, but not about her feelings. It's practical and efficient"
Shannon sighs, Amanda says nothing. I keep crying. Mina and Elizabth don't even bother.