Shattered (The Academy)

Chapter 48: What She Left Behind.

Eleazar's text comes to me while I'm doing dinner. 

Should we meet? Really want to talk

Leaning over the counter, something shakes inside me. But this time, I see the difference: It's not me this time, it's one of them. It's Elizabeth. I can recognize her now. Everytimes she does something, everything she thinks, every move, I recognize it. It's like an escense of an old lover, or an especific touch. This time, I know each part of me. Somehow, it makes me feel in control, even when I'm still far away.

Hey. Sure. When are you free?

Occupied right now?  It comes back in my screen.

No. Just dinner. Would you care to join?

His answer comes quickly, as if he is only focused on our conversation. And I wonder if he need to talk as much as I do so we can both reach peace. Forgiveness. We can't live this way. Not anymore. Or at least, I can't.

Yes. Where?

Meet me at my apartament?  I send him my adress through a Google Maps image, and when he answers back, I see only a thumbs up icon thing.

Fnishing up my spagetthi by pouring the rest of the tomato sauce on it and stirring, it comes to mind that we're not doing much eating. Not at the beginning, at least, so I prepare coffee and also take out my roomate's bottle of whiskey just in case. I have one of those feelings today.

The pot starts to make noises when my door is knocked. And through the peephole, I see him standing there.

"Did you fly through the city or what?" I ask Eleazar, opening the door enough to let him go through. The truth is this is an old apartment and this door can't be wide opened. The thing just goes halfway through. Which explains why there's so little furniture. 

"I was around. Besides, I was feeling a bit anxious" He admits, his hands deep inside his pockets.

"I get it" I close the door behind him and approach the kitchen "What about this? Spagetthi to evoid the empty stomach, whiskey for the nasty memories and coffee to try to sober us up. How that sounds?"

He laughs "You've read my mind".

He helps me serve the spagetthi and then we sit at the table for two, and the proximity makes me feel weird inside. Not mine. Elizabeth's. 

"It smells good" He comments, and I know what he's doing. He's dragging this along so the pain doesn't begin just now "You've always been good at a lot of things" he says while eating.

I follow his doing "Not a lot. But thank you"

"Hmmm... I'm sure that's not true. How did you end up in New York, anyway? Where...?"

I lift an eyebrow "Where are the boys, is that what you mean?"

"Yeah... I... I have to admit I feel a bit confused. I just knew, you know? When I saw you. I knew that they weren't here, that you came alone. It's just something different about you"

Well.

"Well, I am different. And you're right, they're not here. I left-" I was going to keep going. 'I left them', or 'I left town'. But none of them seem right "We took different ways. I haven't seen any of them in a couple of years"

"What happened? You were so close, I remember. They were protective even with-" But now is him who can finish.

"You know, if we can't say out loud some things, there is no way we can have a real conversation, I realize"