Shattered (The Academy)

Chapter 44: Away From The Sun.

He starts kissing my neck. I don't know if they haven't figured it out or just don't care, but I don't want to get Owen in trouble. Although I love his kisses.
"Owen... they'll see us"
He smiles against my neck, grabbing the backside of my knee with his hand. I love this carefree Owen. It's so different from the guy I met at first; cautious, sad. This Owen smiles, this Owen makes me feel things in my stomach.
"Let them"
He licks on my shoulder slowly.
"Since when have you become so reckless, uh?"
"Since I love you"
The air gets stuck in my chest and he leaves me shoulder alone to look at me, leaning over his arm next to my head, our legs tangled together.
"You don't have to say it back. It's okay, love. I know we've known each other for a very short time, but I..."
"I love you too, Owen"
He smiles. It reaches his eyes, and for a moment I forget about the outside world and focus only in his face. He looks peaceful now. The sadnesd in his eyes is not completely gone, not yet, but I can barely think of him as the nurse I met.
No. No, this is mine.
Owen is mine.
And just like that, I have to look away. Will it ever stop feeling like I'm betraying him? I want to be  worthy of him. I don't want to be this shattered piece.
He takes my chin with his fingers and makes me look back at him.
"Let's get to know each other" He says, and I smile.
"I'd like that"
"Let me take you somewhere. Somewhere different"
"Uh? Where?"
Something flashes in his eyes, something I can't quite recognize. I can't see the words behind it.
"The house I grew up in"

It's an abandoned house at the outskirts of town; Grass waiting to be cut, cracked paint and dark shadows.
And worst of it all, it makes sense. I don't like it, but it does: I can see the origins of him being this place.
  When I look into his eyes, he doesn't meet mine the way he always does: He stares into the house with lips shaped into a thin line, and I see the guy he tried to leave behind there. The guy who grew up in this place.
"It wasn't always like this"
His voice startles me. I didn't think he would be actually consious of me, but he is. Is like nothing escapes him.
"What?"
He nods towards the house, still standing next to me in front of ths black steell bars of the doorway.
"The house. This place. The people inside" he pauses "Not when my mother lived"
  Hot water. Hot, hot water.
I think for almost a minute, deciding the best way to handle this.
"How was she like?"
He smiles, nolstalgic. And my heart aches for him.
"She was sweet and kind, but also wild. Untamable"
And then the smiles fades like a flashlight slowly running out of batteries. I wonder if it was even real.
"Actually, she was. My mother was tamable. Hence, us here"
"Why do you say that?"
He looks at me.
"I'm very, truly sorry, love. I know I am certainly not the kind of person you ever dreamed of. I have to admit, sometimes is hard to think of who I was and who I am now"
My fingers reach doe his and they tangle together.
"What? No, Owen. Why are you saying this?"
I'm horrified. How could he not be what I wanted? He is a true gentleman, reapectful, loving, understanding guy. How can he say that?
"It's this house" He says, his hands leaving mine to hold the sides of my face "The way that it stands after all these years. The things those walls saw. The people who we became inside of it"
"What did you become?" I whisper while his thumbs stroke my cheek bone.
"My mother, she was a wingless butterfly. She was kept from flying too close to the sun by a man I called father. And after, I became stone cold. I'm not proud, Sang. I find no value in it anymore. Not since I met you. No when I spend so much time with you, not now"
"Owen. What happened here?"
"He killed her; My father. He kept her away from the sun"
"Oh, Owen" My heart aches for him "I'm so sorry"
"Don't be. I simply wanted to bring you here because it is a part of my past, and therefore, mt life. But it's not all bad things, Love. My brothers and I are stronger for the  things that happened to us"
"You have brothers?"
He nods, smiling.
"They are my family. I would kill for them. Maybe I wouldn't be here today with you if it weren't by them. They are part of me too, as this thouse. Not the same, of course, but still. One day, I will tell you everything about them. I swear"
I look back at the house and wait a moment after the weight settles in my heart.
"I lied"
His eyes search for mine, but I don't look at his eyes.
"About what?"
"Jojo is gone too. At the beginning, I didn't realize, but then I noticed something felt different, and I realized that I didn't feel her anymore. By that time, Shannon had left and they all started celebrating and..."
"Them leaving wasn't what you were expecting?" He says sweetly.
"I do feel relief, but... yeah, I guess. I'm not sure which will vanish or not. I don't know what will be of me"
His fingers touch mine and then our hands interwine together.
"Neither do I" he admits "but we will go through this together"
Maybe this is true love. No; I know it now. It's not lying and pretending everything is gonna be okay, but to admit you are as scared as your significant other is. To admit that things will go up and then downhill before any of us knows what's happening.
Love is sharing stories about a house and and a mother too far from the sun; stories about a girl who had many inside, about the secrets that were kept inside.
  I have to tell him. About the guys and all the things that I did to my sister and father. I have to come clean to him. I know that now. It's just that I'm afraid of the timing. One day he'll know, and it can go very wrong, but it's a risk I am going to take.
One day.
"Let's start slow" I suggest. He squeezes my hand.
"Yes. Let's start slow"
"Want to see my house?" I ask hin "Is not as this one, but it holds a story too"
"I would love to"
And so, I show him my house and my room, and the places I hid into. All the time, I evoid looking at the house in front. Someday he'll know about the hosts of it, about the guys there, about different stories.
One day we'll real talk, but no today. Today, we fall in love.
Tomorrow, we hurt.

Guys, I'm sorry. I know it's been slow and the last couple chapters have been short and somewhat repetitive, but I promise I'm gonna fix it and stuff. This story is near the end and I hope I can get it done soon.