Payback Is a Bitch (A Rock N Roll Soul Story Part I)

14. EVERYBODY HURTS

I rushed to my mother's room and she is there in her bed; she looked so fragile there lying in the bed. I walked next to her bed and she grabbed my hands which were very cold.

"Mom, are you okay?" I ask her as I kneel next to her bed. "Please tell me you're okay."

I didn't want to let go.

Not now.

"Alex, I want you to promise me something." She softly said. "I need you to promise."

"Of course, but why are you saying it that way?" I asked as I felt my eyes get watery.

I was already crying.

Because I knew that the end was here.

"How dear, how am I saying things?" She asked me. "Explain."

"Like if you were about to die." I said. "As if these were your last words and it can't."

Her look was enough answer for me.

They were.

"No momma, no please!" I said and hugged her. "Don't leave me momma, please I love you!"

"Don't worry Alex, even if I'm not here with you I will always be watching you." My mother said. "I love you too much."

"It's not fair." I cried. "You can't leave."

She stroked my cheek.

"I don't want to lose you. I can't live by my own." I said. "I won't be able to without you."

"Alex I have done a lot of mistakes in my life but you have done one that can still be fixed." She said. "You have to before it's too late for you."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her. "Mom, you're not making any sense."

"You can run away from all your problems." She said as she took out the purple crystal lily I had found in my locker. "This is your last hope."

"I thought I had thrown that away." I said as I looked at it, it was still the same thing as it was the first time I saw it. "I hadn't seen it in years."

"Why would you do that Alex? The kid really had feelings for you." My mom told me as she looked at me. "He loves you and I bet he still does."

"Mom, what are you talking about Brad send me that and he made fun of me part of why we are here in France was his fault." I told her as I shook my head. "Why run back to him?"

"Alex, Brad didn't send this." My mom said. "He wasn't the one who did this?"

"Then who was it?" I asked. "Who sent me the flower."

"It was Ian, how else did he know that this was your favorite flower?" My mom said as she looked at me and smiled.

I frowned.

Could it be?

"And I thought all this time it was Brad." I said as I looked at Andres and my dad. "I was such a bitch towards him."

"Alex you have to fix your mistakes and also you have to fix whatever you left back in U.S.A." My mom said in a soft voice.

Only I was able to listen to her.

"But mom, I can't." I told her as I objected.

"You have to, for you and for me, promise it." My mom told me.

I nodded and felt how the tears felt down my cheeks.

"I promise momma." I said as I hugged her and she kissed my cheek.

"I love you all, I'm so proud of my family." My mom said with a smile. "So proud of each one of you and I know you will be alright without me, I know you are strong enough."

That was the last conversation I held with my mother, after that morning she passed away, I could say that part of me died that morning because without my mother I was lost, but I had promise her that I was going to be strong that even though it hurts I had to keep up with the pace life had. That even though everybody hurts everything was going to be okay.

It had to be okay.

Especially because I wasn't alone, I still had my family.

A week after my mother had passed away I packed all my things, I had gone over the promise I made my mother and I knew what to do exactly with it.

"What are you doing?" Andres asked as he stepped in my room. "Sissy, what is this?"

"We're going back." I told Andres as I looked at him. "I want to go back."