Five months later
Alex's POV
I've been in the dark for such a long time. It feels like I've been stuck here a year, but for all I know it could be longer or less. The voices come and go, they all seem very sad.
I've been wandering through the darkness for such a long time. I don't even know if I've moved or not. For all I know I've been walking in one place this whole time. I'm so tired, but when I try to sleep I just jolt awake feeling more tired than I was before.
The voices talk to me all the time. I'm aware of what happened now. I remember being beaten to the point I couldn't feel anything and the ride to the hospital. I'm aware that I've been in a coma, I just don't know how long I've been a vegetable. I've recognized the voices now. Since I've been here for so long it finally came back to my memory. My mom, Alice, Andrew, Rian, Zack, and Jack. Jack and my mom stayed with me most of the time. They talk to me and whisper how much the miss me.
I've heard all of them pray to God for my life. I've never really been a believer in God and I don't think Alice or Jack were believers either. So it was a shock to hear them pray to the God they said they didn't believe in. I guess with the whole situation, praying seemed like it would help, but it hasn't.
I've heard the doctors talking about how they didn't think I would wake up. I've heard many arguments from both Jack and my mom with doctors over keeping my life support on. Apparently my brain wasn't functioning, I don't understand how that's possible since I'm fully aware of what's happening. Maybe the doctors made it up so they could get rid of me and put me in the ground already.
I can see why my mom is fighting for my life, after my dad killed himself she had never been the same. I've never been the same either, but I've learned to hide it. She copes with his death by worrying about me. If I die how will she cope with me and my dad gone? I don't think she'll be able to stay sane.
I've heard my dad a few times, random echoes in the dark after everyone had left. He told me to stay strong and keep fighting for my mom's sake. I wish he would stay and talk with me. It's so lonely not being able to speak to anyone. I can see why I was so afraid of the dark when I was little, the dark is where the insanity hides and waits for you. I've been slipping in and out of sanity a lot lately. The white words come and go. I've started ignoring them. They only want to cause harm and make me give up. I can't give up though, my dad wants me to keep fighting. I'm not sure if he actually wants me to live or live so my mom will stay sane. I try not to think about that, but its come into my thoughts a few times.
"Mrs. Gaskarth we need to decide how long to keep him here." I heard the doctor say.
"We're not turning off his life support," she stated, annoyance in her tone.
I've heard this argument multiple times, it hurts to hear the pain in her voice after fighting to keep me alive.
"It's been five months. His brain isn't functioning."
Five months? I've been in this hell for five months?
"I'm not letting you take his life away," my mom said, her voice cracking.
"You can't force her to turn off the life support to her only son," Jack said, sadness in his voice.
My heart ached at the sound of his words and the sound of my mothers sobs.
"Get out of here you jackass," Alice said, getting angry.
She's been angry most of the time when doctors are in the room. She's probably sick of all the bad news. I'm sick of hearing the bad news.
"Maybe you just aren't trying hard enough to wake him. How do we know you just want him to die so you can get this room clear?" Jack asked, anger rising in his voice.
I could hear my mom sniffling back a sob.
"We've tried everything," the doctor said his tone flat.
"You haven't tried hard enough!" Jack shouted.
"Jack calm down," my mom whispered.
"How can I calm down? They "claim" they've tried everything. But they haven't, we've been here the whole time they haven't done shit to him apart from check his IV and take notes," Jack said between sobs.
I wanted to scream to them and tell them I was okay. I hate hearing them cry and fight for me. If I could just wake up they wouldn't have this fight every day. I've tried many times to wake up, I've tried screaming, but my screams just echo through my head. I've even tried praying a few times. Nothing works, maybe it would just be better if they gave up on me.
"You have to make a decision," the doctor said.
"One more day," my mom whispered.
"What? No!" Jack screamed, chocking back sobs.
"Jack hunny, he's probably suffering. I don't want him to feel pain anymore."
"But... what if God has it planned for him wake, but not as soon as we want?" Jack asked between sobs.
"If that's Gods plan, he's sick and twisted," my mom stated.
My heart twisted into a knot. Did she really just say that? But she's always believed in Gods plan. Is she losing her faith because of me?
"I'll give you some more time to discuss this," the doctor said.
"No, it's decided. If he hasn't woken up by tomorrow night we pull the plug."
Tears started streaming down my face at the sound of Jack sobbing.
Jacks POV
"One more day," Alex's mom whispered.
My heart felt like it had just been stabbed multiple times with a double-edged knife.
"What? No!" I cried, chocking on my sobs.
"Jack hunny, he's probably suffering. I don't want him to feel pain anymore."
"But... what if God has it planned for him wake, but not as soon as we want?" I asked between sobs.
I've never believed in God until Alex's mom got us to start praying. For some reason praying made me feel just a little bit better. If God really did listen to prayers. He's probably heard ours and is just waiting.
"If that's Gods plan, he's sick and twisted," she said, her tone bitter and sad.
My heart wrenched at her words. I never thought I would see the day Alex's mom would lose her faith in God. I looked over and I could see the look of shock on Alice's face. She was equally as crushed as me. I sighed and left the room. I couldn't be in there, I want to spend the possible last minutes of his life by his side, but it hurts too much.
I made my way down the corridor and to the elevator, pressing the down button. Have you ever noticed how when you're in a hurry to get out of a place the elevator takes longer? I hate it. Finally, the elevator opened, I stepped inside and hit the first floor button. The doors closed and I let out a sad sigh.
"Why do the bad things happen the good people?" I thought out loud to myself.
"God wants to put good people to the test, it's twisted and horrid. But he does it to see what you can handle." A voice said behind me.
I jumped slightly, think that I had been alone in the elevator this whole time. I guess I was too upset to realize the boy in the wheelchair behind me.
"I'm sorry, I thought Iwas alone..." I whispered, feeling awkward.
I'm not sure why I feel awkward, I didn't really say something weird.
"No need to apologize. I've asked myself that before and my father told me what I told you."
"Your dad is very smart."
"Yeah, he was," he said with a sad smile.
"Was? I'm sorry, that's probably too personal," I said, looking down.
"It's fine. He died in a car crash while driving here to visit me after my surgery."
"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that," I whispered sadly.
"It's fine, he was a bright person about everything, so I try to live by that memory of him."
"It's good that you stay positive, it must be hard."
"My life fell to shit so it was either sit and be miserable or find the brighter side in the darkness," he said with a soft smile.
The elevator door opened and he wheeled out.
"Maybe we'll see each other again some time. I hope that whatever happens is good for you," he said with a smile before wheeling down the hallway.
I stood there for a second, before stopped the doors from closing and going after him.
"We won't be able to speak again if we don't know each other's names. I'm Jack," I said once I caught up with him.
"You have a point, I'm Jay," he said with a light laugh.
"Well Jay, I hope to see you soon," I said before turning on my heel and heading back to the elevator.
I smiled as I got into the elevator. I pressed the button to the first floor. The doors closed and I sighed. I stepped out of the elevator and into the lobby. I got a few weird looks, but I guess if I saw someone that looked like they've never slept in months with tear stained cheeks and a smile on their face; I would give them a weird look too. I walked outside and sighed as the cool air wrapped me in a chilled hug. I smield to myself and closed my eyes. I jumped when a hand suddenly was placed on my shoulder. My eyes flew open and I look to my left to see Alice.
"Don't sneak up on people!" I shrieked.
"Not my problem you didn't notice me standing here."
"Couldn't stand being in there any longer either?" I asked, looking down at her.
"Yeah, it's really hard. Even now since he might not wake up in time," she whispered, choking back a sob.
"We just have to hope. Even more now since his moms given up," I whispered, pulling her into a hug.
"I know..." she said, hugging me back.
We stood there in silence for a few minutes before deciding to go inside. I grabbed her hand and lead her towards the elevator. She looked so tired, I'm pretty sure I didn't look any better. Once inside the elevator she pressed the button and we watched as the doors closed. I wonder if the security people who watch the footage from elevators ever see people like us and feel bad for us. Or maybe they've seen too many people like us it's just another day at work for them. If I was in charge of watching the footage I wouldn't be able to watch the footage from the elevators. The sadness would be too overpowering.
The doors opened and a sad elderly woman stepped inside. She pressed the button to the 4th floor. Alice held my hand and rested her head on my shoulder. The elderly woman stood close to the doors, her face showing nothing but sadness. I wanted to ask if she was okay, but it's not my buisness. And she doesn't look like she's up for talking. I looked down at Alice, who was looking at the old woman. She was probably think the same thing as me.
"Ma'am are you all right?" Alice asked, hesitant.
The woman turned around and gave Alice a weak smile.
"I've had better days, my son fell and broke a few stitches while going back to his room."
Alice frowned, "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he's okay."
Alex's POV
Jack and Alice left a while ago, I don't know why they left. But I guess it's hard for them to stick around if I'm like a time bomb waiting to die. I had hoped they would stay with me in my last moments. My mom hasn't spoken a word since the doctor left. I just wish someone would talk to me. I'm scared to die and I don't want to be alone when I do. I've been trapped her for five months, but with my family and friends here it made me feel better. The only people that visit are Jack, Alice, Andrew, my mom and sometimes Rian and Zack. My dad has been visiting me more often. I can finally see him. I think he's waiting to take me to the afterlife and that's why he's here.
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A/N
I'm sorry that I'm slowing killing off Alex. I promise I have good things planned. But nothign happy is coming up yet. But there will be happiness again. I promise. Please comment and vote. I want to know if anyone is reading this.
In other news I'm see All Time Low on the 21st (this sunday :D) I'm really excited. Yyesterday I found out I might be seeing FOB in September ^0^
