♔ Zodiac Signs ♔

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the signs with their children;
Aries: "ah... yes... 6 months... the perfect age to start boxing classes"
Taurus: [uses a baby carrier on their teenager]
Gemini: "listen buddy, i don't care what you did at preschool imma bout to tell you about MY day"
Cancer: rushes their kid to a hospital after a stubbed toe
Leo: is prepared to physically fight their child's bullies
Virgo: [pulls out a calculus textbook] "story time"
Libra: the mom in "stacey's mom"
Scorpio: "a lullaby? alright baby... bitches ain't shit and they ain't sayin nothing... a hundred motha fuckas..."
Sagittarius: [newborn vomits on them] "what the... i did not raise you to be like this"
Capricorn: "beautiful baby right? well, not as beautiful as me but... you know, we can't all be so blessed"
Aquarius: [burns their kids hw] "you don't need this... it's all up to the system... listen, there's a rebellion coming"
Pisces: [sees their baby sleeping] "what an asshole... why tf can't that be me?"
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