its been three weeks since i've talked to jack and my pregnantcy seems to be coming along fine. i don't know what it is but i don't care.
i haven't had the desire to do anything. i don't care anymore. i don't even feel like living anymore. my heart is still shattered and i can't put it together.
i haven't ate in some time now. i don't want to live anymore.
his family probably thinks i'm a whore and he still hates me.
i still remember the night we broke up. every word he said.
how could i forget it, i can't sleep at night. everytime i lay down i feel like a weight is being set on my chest. the weight of guilt.
"come on remy" my mom started " you need to eat hun, its unhealthy for the baby to starve yourself" she said handing me a plate with a sandwich cut into triangles woth chips on the side.
i ate it just to get her away from me. my self company was enough for me. although it made me over think and scare myself i didn't care.
after i forced myself to eat i did my daily routine.
i stayed in my chair looking out the window watching the days go by slowly and painfully.
"come on remy you have a doctors appointment today" my mom reminded me.
i looked over my shoulder and she was dressed. i got a jacket and threw some sweats on.
"mom am i suppose to be on my period while i'm pregnant?" i asked.
"no thats actually bad" she said worried and her eyes widened.
i followed her out to the car and she raced me down to the doctors office.
"my daughter is bleeding and she's pregnant" she bkurted to the lady behind the desk.
the rushed me to the back where the doctor checked on me.
"ma'am were you aware that you were bleeding for a long time?" he asked.
"no just today" i responded.
"i'm sorry but sweetie, you've had a miscarriage" he said to me.
"we need to remove the fetal tissue, the rest will pass" he explained.
and again another whole burned into my chest.
"a miscarriage?" i asked as a tear ran down my face.
i was so fragile so weak and you tell me this.
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after i told my mom i sat infront of the window again.
maybe i should just end it all.
it not like i have much to lose anyway.
"why don't you go see jack, at least get some closure" my mom said running her hands through my hair.
"it would pain me too much mom" i said blankly.
"please! sweetie i can't see you like this anymore! i miss my babygirl!" she cried.
i guess i could go see him.
just for her sake.
and who knows maybe i will feel better.
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F U C K G I R L; J.G
Fanfictioni enjoyed toying with boys making them feel what was once done to me, making them see how life on the other side was. but there was a bump in the road, he took my heart without knowing but we both had bad intentions. he was a fuckboy and i was a fuc...
