Gone Cold. -Luke Hemmings Love Story. AU-

Chapter 13

-LUKE'S POV-

I haven't talked to Kit since Saturday. Given, it's only Monday, but it's much longer than I'm used to not talking to her. I don't usually see her on the weekends, but she's always texting me. I feel terrible about everything I said to her. I really do. She didn't deserve any of it. She was just trying to be there for me. She was right, I do need somebody. I just didn't know that it would be so easy to push that person away. One moment, then it was all gone. I just had to run my mouth. I had to push her, along with my feelings away. She was the only one there. I had to take it out on her. She hasn't left my mind since either. The look on her face as I snapped at her is haunting me. She was right, I am nothing but a huge asshole. I should have knows things wouldn't have been that good with her forever.
I sigh as I walk downstairs, to the smell of bacon again. Karen has been cooking breakfast every morning since she's been here. She's been moving her things in all weekend. At the rate it's going, she should be all moved in by Wednesday. I really don't mind the idea of that too much anymore. She's actually nice to me. She tells my dad when he's being a dink for no given reason. She actually takes the time to talk to me. I wouldn't say I like her yet, but I also wouldn't say that I don't like her.
I walk into the kitchen as she smiles and hands me a plate, that is already filled with food. "Thank you!" I say as she brings me over a cup of coffee. I put my sugar and creme in before downing half of the cup, even though it was burning my tongue.
"Don't mention it." She says with a smile before getting her plate and sitting across from me at the table again. "Your dad has already left for work, so you don't have to worry about him coming down and bullying you." She smiles.
"Good." I say with a half smile.
"What's up?" She asks.
"What do you mean?" I ask, before taking a bite out of my bacon.
"You haven't been yourself." She says. "You've been quiet. You may be a lot of things, but quiet isn't one of them."
I shrug. "I fucked up." I say, casually. "It doesn't really matter how, but I did. I fucked up, bad."
"Care to tell me how?" She asks. "I have a feeling that it really does matter."
"It matters a little." I say and look down at the table. "I just- I did what I always do. I pushed. But, it had a worse outcome than it ever does."
"Are we talking about that girl that picks you up and drops you off all of the time?" She asks.
"Kit Kat." I mumble with a small smile. "Um, yeah." I say. "Her name is Kit." I explain. "I call her Kit Kat, because she calls me Hemmings."
She smiles at that. "Why did you push her away?" She asks.
I sigh. This will be what makes or breaks my trust for Karen. "If I tell you, you can't tell dad." I say. "It's nothing that would really effect him, but I don't want him knowing." I say. "Promise?"
"I give you my word, Luke." She says with a smile.
"We went to the cemetery." I say. "Dad said I'm not off grounding until he knows that I went. That's why I don't want him to know. I don't want him thinking that I'm lying about it. It's just really not worth it." I say. "But anyways, I got there and freaked the fuck out, and she was there, she was talking to me, and I just lost my shit. I took everything I was feeling out on her, and now she wont talk to me." I say. It feels actually good to let that out.
"Hmm." She says and falls back in her chair, she knits her eyebrows together as she takes a sip of her coffee before setting it back on the table. "Well, you really can't deny that you did indeed fuck up." She says.
"Thanks for that." I say and roll my eyes. "But, what am I supposed to do?" I ask.
"You're going to have to swallow your pride and apologize." She says. "That's the only thing you can do."
"I was afraid you may say that." I say and look down at my watch. "Shit." I say. "I missed my bus."
"Don't worry about it." She says before getting up and pulling car keys out of her purse. "It's my fault you missed it for talking to you, I can drive you."
"Thanks." I say with a smile.
~
I sit next to the people that I did before Kit got here at lunch with a sigh. I really don't want to sit next to them, but Kit just put her head down as I walked past their table, earning confused looks from Ashton and Calum, and earning me a dirty look from Michael. I just walked past them, pretending that I didn't notice that looks. "Look who finally decided to join us!" Whatever his name is says. I just give him a dirty look. "There's that personality that we've missed, right guys?" They just ignore him. He's the only one that really talks to me. "What made you change your mind?"
"It doesn't matter." I say and put my lunch back in my book bag. I'm really not hungry. "I just did today."
"Did something happen with the girl?" He asks and nods towards Kit.
I sigh. "I said it doesn't matter, okay?!" I ask, getting annoyed with the audacity of this kid.
"Okay, snappy." He says and goes back to his sandwich. I really want to smack him upside the head. That would probably take eighty percent of my problems away. But I don't. I just keep my thoughts to myself and sit there, waiting for the bell to ring.
It doesn't take too long for the bell to go off. When it does, I go to my next class, taking my time, because I know that I have to sit next to Kit and I still haven't really thought out what I need to say to her. When I do get there, Kit is sitting in her usual spot, and I take mine beside her as I hear a sigh escape her lips. "I know, okay?!" I say. "I get it. I'm an asshole. You were right, I was wrong. I was freaking out, but that's not your fault. It just- seeing her stone made it all sink in. I'm sorry." I blurt out.
"Yeah, I'm sorry too." She says before turning around in her seat. Her face looks cold. "I'm sorry that I even gave you a second thought." She says, her tone as harsh as the look on her face. "I'm sorry that I doubted everything that people said about you, when they were right in the first place." She sighs. "But most of all, I'm sorry that I wasted so much of my time on you."
"Kit Kat, no. Don't be like that. I know I shouldn't have acted the way I did. It was just that-"
"It doesn't matter what it was." She says. "You don't get to yell and scream at me like I'm a piece of shit every time you get upset. I won't have it. Whatever we were, we're not anymore. Don't call me Kit Kat."
"What else am I supposed to call you?" I ask. "Kit Kat is all I've ever called you."
"We were friends then." She says. "We're not friends anymore. You can call me Kit like the rest of the world."
"Don't do this." I say. "It wont happen again."
"How can you be sure?" She asks. I start thinking about it. "Exactly." She says after I haven't responded for a few minutes. "This conversation is over, Luke." She says before turning back around in her seat, her facial expression not changing at all.
"Whatever." I say in responce. She can't know that I care so much. I need to be as careless as she is about all of this. "You think not having you around anymore will effect my life any? I've got news for you, I was doing just fine before you got here. And I'll be just fine when I don't see you anymore." I say, the pain in my chest multiplying with every word I say. But she can't know that she's hurting me.
When the bell for that class goes off, I rush out and down to my next class. Kit is also in that one, but we don't have to sit next to each other. I walk in the class and sit next to the kid that I sat by at lunch. "Hey, Luke." He says with a smile. I do a half smile, but not at him This kid really has no clue that I can't stand him. I look at Kit as she walks in the class. She doesn't even bother looking at me, she just sits at the back of the class, in the single desk. Thinking more about it, I should have taken that seat. Now I'm stuck next to my 'best friend' as Kit called him
"Something definantly happened between you and her." He states.
"Yeah, no shit." I scoff.
"Tell me about it." He says. "I can help you."
"No." I say as I turn back around, I noticed that I was staring at her. "It's really none of your business."
"Luke, I'm your friend." He says. "You need to tell me."
"I said no." I say, getting annoyed. And wishing that this teacher would come in soon. She's always late. I usually never complain, but I want dingus to stop talking to me.
"Luke, your mom would hate you being like this." He says before sighing. "Don't you want to make her proud?"
I feel my fists clench up as he says that.
~
-KIT'S POV-

I walk into the class as I feel Luke's eyes burning a hole in me. I can't believe that I said all of that to him. The moment he started talking to me, I wanted to just forgive him right there and then. But, I can't do that. I can't keep pushing myself onto someone who only wants it half of the time. I can't have someone around that just yells at me every time something unexpected happens. I can't handle being yelled at all, let alone having to walk on egg shells every day being scared that he's going to just snap at me again. It sucks, but I can't be around that. So, I need to act as if I am okay with no longer being around him, even though the thought is breaking me.
I see him turn around in his seat after looking at me for a good five minutes. Then he carries on a conversation that I can tell he doesn't want to be having. When it comes to that guy, I don't really think it's ever a conversation he wants to be having. I really can't blame him. The kid is annoying as hell, and always finds a way to overstep his boundaries. I know this and I've only ever had three conversations with the kid. And that was only because he walked up to us when Luke and I were talking.
I'm low key watching them. This seat gives me the perfect view. After whatever his name is says something, I see Luke's face drop as he gets up out of his chair. What the hell is going on. "You mother fucking bastard!" Luke yells before taking a swing and hitting the kid in the face. The punch is so hard that it knocks the kid out of his seat. The class goes completely silent as all eyes shoot over at Luke, which I know he hates.
"What the fuck, man?!" The kid yells back. "You need to get a better grip of what the hell is going on. You can't just walk around all high and mighty all the time. You can't accept the truth. That's it, isn't it?" He yells, as Luke starts chewing on his lip. "I tried being your friend and helping you, but you just shoot me down!"
"Yeah, that's because I don't fucking like you! I can't believe you can't see that!" He yells back. "How fucking stupid are you? I have been hanging out with you for over a year and I don't even know your fucking name! That says how much I care about you!"
"Well, look around, Luke!" He yells. "I can live with the fact that you don't like me, because a lot of better people than you do! Nobody fucking likes you! Not even the chick that was your best friend like three days ago! Everybody fucking hates you!" He yells as he finally gets up off the floor and sits back down on the chair. "You're nobody, Luke. Nobody at all."
"Fuck you." Luke says before running out of the class.
"Truth hurts doesn't it, Pal?" He asks. "And my name is Lucas. I can't believe you're stupid enough to forget that. It's basically the same as yours."
Luke just shakes his head before continuing to run off. I can't help myself. I go up and I take the seat Luke was sitting in. "Was that necessary?" I ask, defensively.
"Was him punching me in the face necessary?" He responds with. "This has nothing to do with you."
"You obviously struck a nerve." I yell at him. "Then you continue to tell him that everyone hates him, and you had the nerve to bring me into this. So, yes, it has a little to do with me."
"What do you want me to tell him, he's a beloved member of this school?" He asks.
"No, but how would what you said feel?" I ask.
"How does a punch in the face feel?" He asks.
"A fucking punch can heal!" I yell, standing up as people start looking at me. "If you don't shut up, you're about to get another one. Words cut way deeper than any fucking punch to the face ever could! Of course you wouldn't know that though."
"I thought you were pissed at him." He says.
"I am." I say. "But I wouldn't treat my dog the way you just treated that human, let alone a fucking human." I say before getting up and walking towards the door.
"Where the hell are you going?" He asks me.
"I'm going to try and go finish what you fucking started!" I yell before walking out of the class room.
I start walking down the halls. This is going to be hard. I have no fucking clue where he could be. I guess I should start by checking the bathrooms. All of them. There is four bathrooms per building in this school, and there three buildings. That means I'm running around checking twelve bathrooms. I start in this building. Nothing. I called out his name a couple of times, in each bathroom. Most of them were empty nobody really leaves during class time. I go to the next building and check all of those bathrooms. I continue calling his name, I got a response from one of the people in the boys bathroom, but it got my hopes up for nothing. It was the wrong Luke. I go to the third and final building before checking those bathrooms, but again, nothing. I stop for a second to catch my breath then continue running, I go to the cafeteria and look there for him. But of course, nothing.
I take a seat at one of the tables and start thinking. Where could he be? I know he couldn't have left the school. All the exits are locked during class time. So, he'd have to sign out to get out of the school. And I know that he isn't willing to do that. I think a little bit more, then it hits me. How could I be so stupid. Why wasn't that the first place I looked?!
I get up and run down the three flights of stairs, which leads me to the basement of the school. It's empty as always. I go to the door, and sure enough, Luke is standing with his back towards the door, over a table. Breathing heavily and shakily. He's in the music room. I walk in and put my hand on his shoulder, genitally. He jumps and turns around. His face is bright red. "What are you doing here?" He asks.
"I came here for you." I say.
"I thought you said-"
"It doesn't matter what I said." I say. "I'm here now. I take it all back. I can't stand to see anyone treat you like that, despite how you treated me that once. If you say it wont happen again, I believe you."
"Thank you." He says with a slight smile.
"What did he say to you anyways?" I ask.
He turns back around as his breathing picks up again. "He said that my mom would hate how I am." He says in the smallest voice I've ever heard him use. "He asked me if I wanted to make her proud. I lost it. I'm sorry." He says.
"Hey," I say. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I would have done the same thing, okay?" I assure him.
"Okay." He says, but it comes out as I sigh.
"Are you okay?" I ask. Stupid question.
"I will be. I just need to numb myself down again. Go back to class, I'll be alright."
"Okay." I say and head for the door. But just as I'm about to walk out, I turn around and walk back in. "Fuck it." I say before walking up to him, doing something that I wanted to do ever since we talked about it. I wrap my arms around him, hugging him from behind. He doesn't hug back. He just stands there. "One.. Two.. Three.. Four.." I count out loud.
"What the hell are you doing?" He asks, with a voice crack at the end of that sentence.
"Five.. Six.. Seven.. Eight.. Nine.." I continue counting.
"No, stop it!" He says, as he clues into what I'm doing. A hug that lasts longer than twenty seconds is therapeutic and helps get everything out.
"Ten.. Eleven.. Twelve.. Thirteen.. Fourteen."
"I said stop it!" He says and tries to pull away, but I just tighten the hug up.
"Fifteen.. Sixteen.. Seventeen.."
"Let go!" He yells.
"Eighteen.."
"Stop!" He yells again.
"Nineteen.."
"No!" He yells.
"Twenty." I say.
"No!" He yells again, but finally at the end of that his voice breaks. I feel his shoulders shake along with the rest of his body as he wraps his arms around my arms. He's much taller than me, so I just rest my head on his back. "Why?" He asks with a sob.
"Shh." I say as I hold on tighter to him. "You're okay. Just let it out. It'll feel better, I promise." I say in a calm voice.
"It hurts so much." He sobs. "It just never goes away. Why wont it go away?!" He asks with a broken, shaky voice.
"I know." I say. I let go of him and grab a hold of his arm, directing him to the chairs in the room. I sit him down and pull my chair over, so I'm right across from him. Close enough to touch. I grab his hand and start rubbing little circles in it. "This is good though, tell me how it feels." I say.
"I never actually believed that she was gone until I saw it written in stone." He says as more tears fall down his already tear stained face. "Then it came in and hit me in the face. The reason that she hasn't been around for so long isn't because she's on vacation, it's because she's.. she's." He takes a deep breath. "Dead." His voice cracks. "It's not fair, I miss her so much."
"I know you do." I say, before cupping his face with one hand, and wiping away his tears with the other. I look him in the eye, they're red and swolen, along with the rest of his face. Seeing him like this breaks my heart, and I couldn't hide it. I quickly wipe away the tear that I let fall before going back to focusing on his face. "I am here for you, Hemmings." I say. "You just have to let me be. If you let me in, I can help you through anything you need me to, and that is a promise. But it's going to take work on your part too, are you willing to do that?" I ask.
He nods. "Yeah." He says.
"Okay, then we have ourselves a deal." I say before pulling him into me. I rest his head on my chest, with my hand on his head, but I slowly move my hand down to his arm, and start rubbing it. "You and me against the world." I say.