Gone Cold. -Luke Hemmings Love Story. AU-

Chapter 18

-LUKE'S POV-

I rush to the cafeteria as the lunch bell goes off. Today was the first day back after the Christmas break. I almost forgot about how terrible this place is. My Christmas break was fantastic. It was spent mostly on the road and with Kit. My favorite thing to do now that I have a car is to take her for drives. When I finally find the table they're all sitting at, I join them with a sigh. Last period was brutal, there was a sub teacher that did nothing but yell at us the whole time. I'm not sure how, but I bit my tongue and made it through that class. Before I get a chance to say hello to everyone, Kit says. "Did you guys know that there is a senior trip in two months from now?" She asks, excitedly.
"Yeah," Ashton says with a smile. "I finally worked the price of it off last week. It's expensive, but when else are we ever going to get to leave the country like that?" He asks. "I'm excited."
"Yeah," Calum says. "I'm going too. The price tag was pretty hefty, but I think it will be well worth it, I mean, we will make memories that we won't ever forget."
"I'm going too." Michael says. "But not for sentimental reasons like Cal's." He laughs. "I just want a vacation, I don't really care where to."
"I payed this morning." Kit says. "There was no way that I was missing this. What about you, Hemmings?" She asks as she along with the rest of them look over at me with smiles.
I sigh as I remember that. I totally forgot about it. "I have no choice but to go." I tell them. "My mom payed my way last year to make sure that I could go. There are no refunds, so I'm stuck going." My mom was going to be a parent chaperon for the school.
"That's the spirit!" Kit says, sarcastically as she pets me on the back. "I think that it's going to be fun. Even if I do have to room with a total stranger."
"I thought we could pick our own roommates?" Calum asks.
"We do." Kit says. "But, you dingus' are my only friends here, and girls and boys can't room together." She explains.
"Picking a roommate should be easy," Ashton says. "We have each other."
"Well, yeah, we only have two options on who we want to room with." Calum says. "One of us is fucked though."
"What about Luke?" Michael asks.
Calum just shrugs. I understand why. Even though things are okay with them right now, they probably don't really want to room with me. We're no where near back to the way things used to be. It hurts my feelings a little that they're not even considering me to room with them, but I wouldn't consider myself either. Worst comes to worst, I may have to kiss Lucas' ass long enough for him to agree to room with me.
"I'll take him." Michael says, causing a smile that I really can't help. "Solved. I get Luke, and you two bozo's get each other and Kit gets whoever the chosen one is."
"You don't have to room with me if you don't want to, Michael." I ensure him. "I understand why you may not want to.." I mumble.
Michael just shrugs that off. "I said I want to room with you, unless you don't want to, then we both have our partners."
"Sounds good to me then." I say as I continue picking at my sandwich. "And there has to be someone for Kit Kat to room with." I say.
"I'll find someone." She says with a shrug. "There has to be at least one loner around this dump."
"What about that girl?" I ask, nodding in her direction. She's sitting at a table all by herself, and I can't help but feel a little bad for her. I know what that's like.
"Isn't she in our last period?" Kit asks. I just nod. "Great idea." She says as she stands up and walks over to her and starts talking.
"How the hell is she that friendly?" Michael asks. "Especially being in an almost relationship with the guy who may just be the best at playing asshole in this whole school." He laughs.
"Oh, I'm just playing asshole now?" I ask.
"Yeah." He says. "What do you guys think?" He asks.
"I don't really know what to think." Calum says. "Sometimes you're nice." He gives me. "Sometimes I hear rumors that you punched the nameless kid in the face for no reason." He explains. "Is that true?"
"I did punch him, yeah." I say. "But not without reasoning." I tell him as the bell for class goes off. "I don't have time to explain, but you have to just trust me on this. I didn't punch him for nothing. And, his name is Lucas." I say before walking off to my first class of the afternoon. I look over to see if Kit is coming, but she isn't. She's still talking to that girl. I frown a little before leaving the cafeteria alone.
It wasn't for a couple of minutes of waiting in class without her did Kit finally come to class. I smile as she walks in. She returns the smile and takes her seat beside me. "So, was she a loner like we were hoping?" I ask, breaking the silence.
"She agreed to room with me." She says. "I didn't really ask if she was a loner." She lets out a little laugh. "She seems like a sweet heart."
"What's her name?" I ask as the sub teacher goes up and writes free period on the board. All of our teachers today are subs due to teachers meetings and working out the smaller details of our trip in a few months.
"Harper." She says. "It was nice of Michael to room with you."
I shrug. "He probably just felt bad because Calum completely threw me out of the equation."
"Either way." She says. "At least you won't have to room with someone who you want to stab." She says and gestures over to Lucas, who is studding over for a test that we don't have.
"That cool guy?" I ask, she nods. "He's way out of my league. He said it himself." I laugh. "He wouldn't want to room with me, I'm not on his level."
"And clearly he has a line up of people asking to room with him, look at him over there." She says we we both look over at the same time. He's now eating his crackers, crumbs going flying all over his desk. "Yummy." She says, trying not to laugh.
"Maybe if we ask nicely, he'll sing for us." I say as Kit can't help but let a laugh slip out, the class that was silent, all turn their heads and look at her, she just gives a small smile and an awkward wave before looking down at the desk. "Let's play a game." I say and look around. "He's in a row ahead of us, how many paper balls can we throw at him before he notices that it's us throwing them?"
"No way, he'll spas!" She says. "He'll look back at us mid throw on the first ball and tattle on us."
"I really don't think you're right, Kit Kat." I say as he puts his head down on the desk. "He's literally napping." I say. "Plus the teacher has headphones in, I really don't think he'll notice."
"Wait until he's asleep then we have a deal." She says. I agree with that and continue on with small talk waiting for the asshole to fall asleep. I have no clue how long that is supposed to take, but it seems like he's taking forever. Soon enough, he starts snoring- loudly I may add. So I look over at Kit with a mischievous smile. "Okay fine." She says before putting her binder on the table next to mine and opening it. I open mine too and rip out a few pieces of paper. It's not like I actually use my paper for notes anyways. I haven't taken a single note this year.
I throw my first ball, it lands perfectly in the middle of his folded arms, he doesn't even notice. "You go!" I say to Kit who crumples up a piece of paper and throws it at him, it bounces off his head, but nothing, he just continues snoring. I throw another one, with a little more force this time, but it went too far and flew out the open window beside him.
"Nice throw, Hemmings!" Kit says sarcastically before throwing her next ball at him, it hits his shoulder, he flinches, but doesn't wake up. "This is useless!" She complains.
"Come on, let's try a couple more, if he doesn't wake up, then we'll go into overtime." I say with a small smile.
"Fine, it's your turn." She says.
I throw another one, not quite as hard as last time, and this one flew straight into the hood of his sweater. Then Kit throws one, it hits his arm, he flails his arm, but then goes straight back to his nap. "This really is no fun if he's not waking up."
"How about paper airplanes?" She asks. "The point of them would poke him more."
"I like the way you think, Kit Kat." I say as we both fold together a few airplanes. "Do you want to go first?" I ask.
"Hell no." She says and laughs. "Throwing shit at him is your idea, you take the first blow."
"Alright!" I say as I grab one of my airplanes and line it up with his head. I genitally toss it over to him, it pokes the back of his neck. He bounces up. "Shit!" I say in a whisper as I take the airplanes off of the desk to hide them. He looks back, pissed off, I just look past him.
"Who was that?!" He yells. Everyone just shrugs. "Just don't do it again."
"Like hell I wont." I mumble before picking another one up.
"Luke, don't!" Kit says. "It's too risky!"
"No it's not!" I say and throw it at him, it hits him in the head. He quickly turns around, but has yet to catch who did it. He mumbled a few words before turning back around in his seat. "This one is just to tease him!" I say before throwing one out the window that is beside him.
"This is starting to piss be off." He says.
"There's one more, what do you think, Kit Kat?" I whisper.
"Go for it." She says, amused.
"Okay." I whisper to her before grabbing the airplane.
"I knew it was you!" Lucas says as he turns around! "Who else would it be?"
"It wasn't me, dipshit!" I say quickly. "Whoever it was threw one at me too, calm down." I say and roll my eyes. He just turns back around.
"Nice quick thinking!" Kit says.
"I try!" I say before quickly throwing the airplane at Lucas and quickly turn to Kit, pretending to be in the middle of a conversation.
Soon enough that class ends, Kit and I walk through the halls together, as I suddenly get an idea. "Want to skip the rest of the afternoon with me?" I ask.
"We've been doing that a lot, Hemmings. What if we miss something important?" She asks.
"Something important like the teacher sitting at the desk with headphones in?" I ask, laughing a bit at how terrible all of these subs have been today. "Or miss getting yelled at like the class before lunch."
"Yeah," She says and shakes her head. "You're right. Music room?"
"Well, I was thinking something a little more fun than that, Kit Kat." I say.
"Like what? There are only so many places in this school we can go." She asks.
"Who says we have to stay in school?"
"Well, the fact that all the doors lock during class time may have a say." She says. "Even we can't make it through locked doors, Hemmings."
"Or can we?" I ask before taking her and as I start running. I really didn't think that through, because she wasn't prepared to run, and she almost fell. But, I caught her, she soon catches up to me so I can let go of her hand and continue on running. I take her to the third building, and run downstairs, all the way to the basement. I cough a little bit because of how dusty it is down here. "Well, Kit Kat, I'm about to share with you, my precious discovery. But, you have to swear to secrecy."
"You have my word, Hemmings, what's going on?" She asks.
"Just follow me." I say and start walking some more, before we reach a couple of doors. "Listen close." I say. "What do you hear?"
She listens for a second. "It's almost like a faint snoring." She says. "What does that have to do with anything."
"This janitor falls asleep in the supplies closet." I explain. "And part of his job is to take out the garbage, every day. Out of this door." I say as I walk up to it and push it open, the fresh air blows some more dust in my face, so I step out before I end up sneezing out dust. "So, Kit Kat, call it what you will, luck, laziness, slack.. I call it freedom!" I say before we both run out of the building and to the parking lot. "And want to know the best part?" I ask.
"What's that?" She asks with a smile.
"They can't bring us back in the school, because it looks like we've signed out." I say before we start making our way to the school parking lot. "Shall we go for a drive?" I ask, looking down at my feet as we finally make our way to parking lot. I walk up to my car and unlock the doors, opening the door for Kit, and closing it behind her.
I get in the car and start driving away. We spend quite a while just driving around town, and since I picked her up for school this morning, we don't have to worry about going back for her car. We don't talk too much along our journeys, its silent, but not awkward. We're past awkward silence, anything we do together just feels natural, like it's exactly what's supposed to happen. Whenever I get a chance to, I look over at her and smile. I love the way the wind is running through her hair. I also love the smile that is permanently on her face whenever we're on the road together. She keeps on trying to control her hair by tucking it behind her ear, but it continues to blow free.
"Anywhere specific you would like to go, Kit Kat?" I ask.
"Can we go somewhere we haven't been yet?" She asks. "I like going to new places with you."
"New place?" I say to myself, trying to think of a good place to take her. "Got it." I say as I do a U turn and start driving to a place that she's surely not been. "My mom showed me this place a few years back." I tell her. "I fell in love with it, I have a feeling you will too." I say as I pull into a parking lot.
"Woods?" She asks, a little skeptic of my plan.
"No, you'll see." I say as we both get out of the car, I start walking as she follows me. We make our way through the small path in the woods. "Almost there." I assure her. I say as we make our way to the bridge. "Don't look down if you're afraid of heights." I warn her as we make our way to the bridge, she doesn't seem to have an issue with the height, which I find strange. Even I feel a little squirmy when I look down. When we climb down the stairs for the bridge. "We're here!" I say with a smile.
"Oh my god!" She says as she starts running past the grass and onto the sand, she goes and takes a seat next to the bright blue water that the sun is reflecting perfectly off of. I walk up to her and take a seat next to her. The sand we're sitting in is a little damp, but I don't mind. "This place is beautiful, Hemmings!"
"Sometimes I come here when I need to get away." I tell her as I pick up a rock and toss it into the water, to my surprise, it skips three times. That never happens, the rock usually just sinks. "It's a good place to come and clear your thoughts."
"If I knew about this place sooner, I'd barely ever be anywhere but." She says with an ear to ear smile.
"The best part is, nobody ever comes here. It's basically abandoned." I tell her. "I've never showed anybody this place before."
"Then I must mean a lot to you." She says as he smile fades a little.
"Of course you do, Kit Kat." I tell her with a smile. "You're my best friend."
"Well, I think we're a little more than friends, Hemmings." She says.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Well, you kiss me a lot. You tell me that I'm beautiful, we act like we're a couple, you know."
"But we're not.We're just really good friends."
"What if we were?" She asks.
"I don't know, Kit Kat." I say. I would love to be with her, but the timing isn't good, so my plan here is to play oblivious, maybe she'll end up dropping it.
"What if." She says. "Just play along. What if we we're actually a couple? What would change between us, besides the label?"
"A lot would change, Kit Kat." I say. "Relationships don't last, love is just a phase and one of us would end up broken." That much I do mean. "One of us would end up getting insecure over the smallest thing, then it would dig at us until it's unbearable and it would end in a shit show." I tell her. "And as much as they tell you, you know never let her walk away, chase after her, sometimes you can't. And most times you shouldn't. It would ruin everything, Kit Kat."
"Or you could be completely wrong." She says. "How can you be so sure that love never lasts if you have never given it a fair shot? You know what hurts more than losing someone you love? Never getting a chance to share the most beautiful thing possible with someone you're falling for. Do you wan't us to be a story of what could have been?"
"Kit Kat, please stop it." I say. "I don't want to be in love." I tell her. Even though what she told me did make a lot of sense. "We can't talk about this kind of stuff. You know that I can't commit."
"You can, Hemmings. I know you can. You're just scared to. You don't have to be. I don't want to hurt you."
"Kit Kat, no!" I say. "No matter how I feel about you, no matter how much I want to take in what you're saying, I can't. We need to just forget this conversation ever happened and go back to being just friends. No more kissing if that's what you're having issues with."
She shakes her head. "You don't get it, do you?" She asks. "It's always one step forward and two steps back with you. Why is that?" She asks. "I don't want to be friends with you, Luke. I can't be just friends. It's starting to hurt."
"I can't be more than just friends, Kit Kat." I tell her. "I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted things to stay the way they were. I just want you in a way that I can grantee that I won't hurt you. I couldn't live with myself if I broke you."
Before saying anything, she grabs my face and pushes her lips onto mine, sending the feeling of joy that I always get while kissing her up my spine and into my stomach. As much as I want to keep going, I can't. I pull away. "So you're just going to tell me that you felt nothing?" She asks.
"Kit Kat, I can't lie to you. I obviously do. That's why it needs to stop."
She shakes her head again as tears start to build in her eyes. "You know what, just bring me home, we're clearly done here."
"Kit Kat, don't be like that." I say.
"I said bring me home, don't argue, just bring me home. Please." She says more stern. "Please." She begs.
"Alright." I say before we get up and make our way back across the bridge in silent, my stomach turns as I look down, but I don't know where else to look. I just deal with the feeling as we make our way through the short path in the woods and back to my car, where we both get in as I start driving to her house. I keep of thinking of what I can say to her, because this silence is the kind that makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand, but there is nothing I really can say. I think we've said more than enough for today. Before too long, I pull up to her house. "We can talk more tomorrow when you're calmed down, okay?" I ask.
"No." She says. "That won't be necessary." She says as she finally turns to face me for the first time since we got in the car. "I know all I need to know, and honestly, I don't want to waste any more of my time." She has tears and makeup running down her face.
"So, everything, all of this. Was just a waste of your time?" I ask "I was just a waste of your time?" I ask, even though I really don't want to know the answer.
"You said it not me." She says before getting out of the car. "Bye, Hemmings."
"Bye, Kit Kat." I say in a small voice before she closer the door. I wait outside her house until she's in. This time, she doesn't look back to wave at me.
I sigh as I start driving back to my house. All I can think about is what an idiot I am. I ruined the best thing that I had going for me. I can't believe I let her slip. I also can't believe that I care as much as I do. We weren't dating. Not officially anyways. She shouldn't have been so harsh about me being honest with her. But, I feel lost.
Before too long, I get to my house. School doesn't get out for another hour, so Karen won't be home for another two hours. I walk in my house and go straight up to my room, slamming the door behind me. I go and look in the mirror I have in my room. "Fucking idiot." I say to myself before going over to my window and opening it, before pulling out a smoke. The first one is gone with in a couple of seconds. Then I pull another one out and light it. It's not until a tear reached my chin that I noticed that I was even crying. I just wipe the tear away and finish that smoke. Some things just need to be slept off. I go over to my night stand and take a sleeping pill, I swallow it with some water, my face scrunches up at the bitter taste it leaves in my mouth. I go straight to my bed after stripping down to just my underwear and cover myself with my blanket and close my eyes, knowing that I will eventually be able to drift off.