IM NOT CRAZY...I swear

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Cierra's pov

Cold air filled the room. Everything was white and foggy. I could here a series of beeping and the faint sound of people talking. The air smelt sterile but horrible. I shot up and jumped forward. I fell on the hard cold ground and pain spread from my knees up.

"NOOOOOOOOOO" I screamed and tears started to drop down my face. "LET ME GO!"

I sprung up and started running, I don't know where to, but I ran as fast as I could. A bunch of wires dettached from my body and the machines started beeping. By the time I was in the hall way I could see nurses running to my room to help.
"Mrs. Wha-what are you doing out of bed?" The nurse with a face that was whiter then the hospital walls asked as she cought her breath. "I have to go I have to go! Let me go! I'm not crazy I swear. I'm not insane!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I began to run again.
Two male nurses had to chase me down the hall and restrain me. I wasn't going down without a fight. I had gotten out of hand and the last thing I felt was a needle driving into my neck. Then once again everything went dark.

When I awoke again my arms and legs were restrained. I immediately started to scream and cry. I broke down and lost it. How could she do this to me? How could my mom put me in a mental hospital? I know things were starting to get bad again, but why did she do this so suddenly? I could no longer think about it; it made me sick.

I pushed my face down into the pillow and sobbed untill my world went dark again. Your ugly, worthless, stupid, weird, go die, go slit your wrist...the voices bounced around in my head. I would if only I could. I was awoken by to people whispering. When I realized who it was I pushed myself up as far as the restraints would let.
"How could you do this to me!!!? How could you put me in a mental hospital?" I screamed as tears flooded my face. My mom immediately got up and ran to my bedside " sweet heart what are you talking about?" "What do you mean what am I talking about?!! I'm strapped to a bed in a mental hospital!" I screamed as I turned my face so I didn't have to look at her. "No your not." She said softly. I whipped back around to face her "to hell I'm not!" My mom cupped my face then leaned in and whispered "Cierra Anne calm down, your not in a mental hospital your just in a hospital because you fainted and hit your head really hard. Your in restraints because you ran out of the room, refused to get back in bed, and attacked the nurses that tried to escort you back."
I pulled my face away from my mom's hands and took a second to process what she had just said. I looked around and realized I was just in a normal hospital room.
"Ohh." I said as I bit my lip in embarrassment.

My mom smiled at me but it then quickly turned to a frown. She was gazing up at the doorway. When I turned to see who it was I was in complete shock and then rage. It was my dad...well my sperm doner he has never played the real role as my dad.
My mom got pregnant with me in senior year and she did a great job of staying on the right track. She finished high school and had me a couple months later. My "dad" and her were off and on throughout junior and senior year, but when my mom got pregnant she needed him to step up. Of course he didn't, he was still partying and getting in trouble. He didn't have a job or car and he was living with his parents. My mom told him that he needed to man up, they needed their own place and money for baby stuff and that wouldn't be possible if he was jobless. Even she got a job and went to school while pregnant. Worst of all towards the end of senior year they were going through a really tuff time and he cheated on my mom for the second time. This was when she finally drew the line and she left him for good.

He was in and out of my life , mostly out. My mom said that he only visited me a couple times when I was a baby. He came to my first birth day party but left because they got into an argument because my mom wouldn't take him back. The next time I saw him I was three and once again they got into a fight about him not helping her out and abandoning me. After that he would occasionally drop in. When I was five he moved away and I didn't see him again for another six years. He would send me money on my birth day or Christmas every once in a while, but he was never there for me. The last time I saw him I was eleven, he had came to town to visit his parents. They also weren't really there for me either. He picked me up and took me to his parents for a little while but then he decided to have some old friends over and things got crazy.Turns out that my dad's high school partying turned into a drinking problem. He got really drunk and started fighting with some guy. When I screamed at him to stop because I was getting scared, he got up and grabbed me by hair and told me that I didn't know anything, that I was just a kid and I ruined his life. He told me that he hated me for ripping him and my mom apart and blamed everything on me. After that he threw me into the glass coffee table and I fell through it shattering it. Then he just stormed off.

I stood there crying and bleeding. Then one of the guys there offered to help me. He picked me up and carried me to the bathroom. He washed all the blood away and comforted me so I would stop crying. He told me everything would be alright and just to relax. Then he started taking off my clothes. I asked him why he was doing that and to stop but he just said he had to clean all of my body and wrap me up. I tried running out of the bathroom but he pinned me to the wall undressed me, then he rapped me. I cried and screamed but he muffled me with towel. When he had no more use for me he let me go and told me if I told anyone that he would kill me and that they wouldn't believe me. Then he walked out of the bathroom; leaving me wrapped up on the floor, naked, and crying.

I didn't tell anyone what happened In fact I didn't even leave the bathroom. I texted my mom and told her to come get me. When she she got there and saw all the beer and shattered coffee table she cussed out my dad and even slapped him for letting me be around this then she took me home.

He tried calling me about a year ago saying that he wanted to spend time with me and he cared and he wanted to fix things between us but I just cussed him out and ignored him. now he's in my hospital room...for some unknown reason. The only thing I do know is that he's lucky I have restraints on or I'd be bashing his face into the floor.

"Get the hell out of my room NOW" I shouted at him before kindly giving him a nice look at me middle finger.
My mom quickly got up and pulled him into the hall. I could tell they were arguing, and that my mom didn't want him here. Finally he left, and my heart began to slowly go back to it's normal rate.
"What was he doing here?"I asked my mom when she came back into the room. "I'll explain when we get home. You just get some rest for now; they'll be releasing you in about 3 hours or so."
With that my mom walked out of the room, clearly agitated, leaving me to my thoughts...which was never a good idea.

The drive home was extremely uncomfortable and quiet; I had a million questions and no answers. I knew mom wouldn't answer a single one right now so I just sat back and let the awkwardness continue. I thought about what happened at the hospital and replayed it a million Times in my head, what could he possibly want, why the hell was he here? I remember before I woke up in the hospital that's my mom had to tell me something about my dad but I blacked out before she told me. The shock of hearing the words "it's about your dad." or even thinking about Him was enough to make me faint. I don't know why he's here but I just want him gone. He doesn't even deserve the title dad.

My thoughts were intrupted by my mom waving her hand in front of my face.
"Cierra....Cierra we're here.... are you ok...CIERRA!"
I snapped out of my thoughts, we were already home and my mom and step dad were standing next to the car with my door open.
"Sorry...I-I was thinking."

I was relieved to be home but it also ment I would have to snap back to reality with school, Alex, and my dad.

As soon as I was settled back into my room my mom came up with some soup and from look on her face I wasn't going to get out of eating it. I didn't argue and took the bowl. I ate every bite. If I'm going to eat guess I better make the best of it.

I couldn't kick the anxiety that was building up inside of me..I'm panicking about my dad and remembering all the awful memories. I can't breath and my heart is out of control and I dont know what to do. Then the doorbell rang ...
"Hello Monica."
The voice is like nails on a chalk board to me. Tears start streaming down my face. I can feel the air thin and the room get hot and starts to shrink. There's a knock on my door and I clench my eyes shut hopping it's only a dream.
"Cierra?"








Sorry for not updating in a while but here's the next chapter. I'm working on making them longer and a bit more detailed so bare with me. Please vote and comment

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