Are We Worth It?

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"It is a risk to love. What if it doesn't work out? Ah, but what if it does." - Peter McWilliams

Thoughts filled Riley's mind as she sits on her bay window, the sunlight hitting her back that now grows warm, her fingers fiddling with the hem of her sweater as she stares across the room, her body trembling over the thought of losing something beautiful.

She had held onto this thought ever since Lucas had asked her this one question, earlier when they were at Topanga's.

"What if we're capable of becoming something more?"

Maybe they were capable, capable to become something even more beautiful than what they had already created. But, Riley knew she had to keep her friends for as long as she can. Her Uncle's best friend, Jack had told her that, many years ago.

Even as a Junior in High School, sometimes Riley still couldn't understand how she felt about Lucas, only because she was too scared to lose what they already have.

Both Lucas and Riley had wanted to become something official, but they both understood the risk it would take.

What if it doesn't work out?

Was all Riley kept wondering to herself. What if in the end, it all just fell to dust, leaving them both with nothing left of each other? Neither of them wanted that.

Riley had felt bad for running out on Lucas, after the question was asked. She just didn't know what to do, and even Lucas understood that. Just as the question had escaped his lips, he regretted asking it in the first place, for he knew how Riley would react.

Sometimes; they knew each other, more than they knew their own selves.

Riley could hear her heart pounding harshly in her ears, as she continued to hope something would show her what she should do.

But not even Maya came to the window after hours on end passed. Riley had tried to contact her about the situation, but with every text message, came no answer, and with every call, came the voice mail.

What Riley didn't know, was that Maya had wanted Riley to do this on her own. Maya had once tried to understand how Riley felt about Lucas, but she was already too close to her to see Riley's feelings straight. Feelings are too deep and personal for someone on the outside to even understand them, for the only person who can understand someone else's feelings, is the one receiving them.

Maya knew Riley always depended on her to help her with all of her situations, but there were times Maya knew that she shouldn't step in, she knew that Riley needed the space to grow, and at times Maya was not giving her that space.

Riley looked at her phone that continued to stay silent, as it rested next to her. She wanted to call Maya once more, but she knew she wouldn't pick up again. She wanted to call Farkle, but even Farkle didn't understand why she was confused. He had told both her and Lucas, that it's unbelievable that they have gone this long without becoming an official thing.

"I see the way you two look at each other." He would state, matter-of-factly. "The way both of your eyes, light up when they meet the others. I see your stances change in the presence of one another. I even catch Lucas watching you when you aren't even looking. You are both so drawn to each other, but you're both too scared to even realize it."

Riley knew Farkle was right, for he said it to her whenever he got the chance. Yes, Farkle loves her more than anything, and would never want to see her hurt, but it seems as if he was the only one that knew what Riley and Lucas were capable of becoming.

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