A Year Being the Cheerleader

31.

A pang of disappointment and maybe even jealousy pains me in the gut as I watch Nate talking to another girl to his left while I remain there astound. I feel like a fool somehow which I don't understand. I shouldn't be feeling any way, Nate is my best friend. He can talk to any girl he wants.

I turn around waving at others as they continue filling the classroom. The teacher finally comes into the classroom speaking with a student before turning to look at us unpleasantly.

"Good morning." She says flatly and sitting down in her seat.

A chorus of 'good morning's is returned but my lips remain seal as I stare down in my now open book, going through notes from last class. Unfortunately, over the past days or probably weeks, I haven't been studying much and this isn't bad. No, it has past that. I am now on unstable grounds and I really need to start studying again. No better place than now.

I then feel a searing heat on me. My head snaps up to see the entire class staring at me. All thirty-three pair of eyes pierce into me, including the baleful glare from the teacher and the blank stare from the blue eyed boy beside me.

"Ummm..." I swallowed the lump lodged in my throat, but it seem to suffocate me even more. This is not good.

"Miss Addison..." the teacher threats, her voice a tone deeper than usual, almost reminding me of the monsters I watched in some horror movie. I almost chuckle, but the memory also reminds me of the person who was watching it with me that night.

"Yes?" I prompt, not liking this for one minute. I don't like attention. It always makes me feel like everyone can see my flaws and I will make a fool of myself in front of them. Being at high school, that never ends well. It's like a scar that haunts you, even when you leave school persons will remind you about it. No doubt about it in my mind. I lean back for the blow as soon as I see her open her mouth. This is going to be painful.

"Do you not have manners young lady? Say your greeting." My face immediately fell. Seriously?! I guess that isn't as painful as I thought.

"Good morning," I say skeptically, expecting her to say something else which actually sounds like a good accusation.

The teacher nods once before all eyes are train away from me and the lesson of the day begins. I release a breath that I didn't know I was holding. This day is just getting weirder and weirder by the minute.

I take a peek to my side at the same time Nate looks my way. Embarrassment causes my cheeks to flush, but I don't look away, neither does he. I open my mouth to say something, but I freeze. What should I say?

"Oh Nate, I miss you so much. Why did you leave me?!"

Nah, I don't think so. My mouth snaps back shut and he turns away before I can fully understand the emotion in his eyes. Was it disappointment or anger? Or maybe it is sadness. I shake my head, trying to shed those thoughts from in my head. Why would he be disappointed or even sad? That's impossible. And if anyone is to be angry, it should be me! I just haven't contemplated a reason that doesn't sound desperate for it yet.

I inhale deeply to shut off that dam of thoughts. This isn't helping me in anyway. I slowly look up at the teacher trying to forget about all of this. With my spine straight in my seat, I stare at the teacher but none of her words are being absorbed into my brain. The blonde hair guy beside me is way too distracting.

I hear him sigh and turn to his direction instinctively. I don't know why I set myself up in this trap. As I expect, his clear blue eyes are on me. Usually, I would want to shrink away from other people's gaze, but I don't want to right now. I'm not sure which one scares me more, the mere fact that I don't feel any sort of way under his gaze or that I should be feeling the opposite. This is complicated, but I don't dare say anything. After a moment of silence that feels like eternity, he opens his mouth to speak but the bell rang.

It is as if I am snapped back to reality by the sudden intrusion. I immediately get up to leave and he doesn't try to stop me which weirdly makes me feel disappointed. This is definitely messing with my head. I stare down at my shoes as I walk towards the exit.

"Amber!" I look up to see the only person who I didn't expect to meet now. Why Lord, why?! "C'mon, you're skipping the rest of school today," Well, my brain is obviously working since my feet aren't moving and instead I raise an eyebrow with a 'who the hell you think you are talking to' look. That is something new. "Okay, just for a couple hours."

"That's basically the same thing Ramona," I say with my eyes rolling heavenward before stepping pass her.

"Can't say I didn't try," she shrugs and we are out the door, minions and all.
 
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