Love Me Harder✔

thirteen

{edited}

between the wars we will stay

fading echoes spin the way

we'll stand by worried

in the memory

___

I didn't know what to do. Derek was standing in front of me, a smile long gone from his face. He kept staring at me. I left him stunned, shocked, and speechless. 

"Why are you looking at me like that? Get out of my room, get out of my house, get out of my life. I hate you! You ruined me! Get out of my life forever."

Derek physically flinches. "You don't really mean that."

I laughed, tears beginning to form in my eyes. I was so sick of crying.  "Oh, I mean it. I wish I never started talking to you and I wish I never dated you. I wish I never fell in love with you. I wish I never met you."

Derek looked at me, a hurt expression on his face. He came closer to me and I stepped back. Before I knew it, my back was up against the wall. Before his lips could touch mine, I punched him in the mouth. 

Derek jumped back, holding his mouth when blood started trickling down. "Ow, Darcy! What the fuck was that for?"

I yelled, "I told you I don't love you!"

Derek was getting angry. "You and I both know that you still love me. You always will Darcy! You're a weak, little, rich girl!"

I scoffed. "This is why I don't want to be with you. This is how I know you don't love me. You say shit like that and bring me down. Well guess what? Nobody can drag me down anymore, okay? I'm sick and tired of being the girl only known for being a singers daughter. I want to be somebody, I want to make my own life," I paused and wiped my eyes, "I fucking do love you still but will I act upon it? No because I don't deserve you and you don't deserve me. I hope you have fun rotting in hell, ass hole."

Derek looked angry and he stormed away.  

I quickly shut my front door and slid down the back of it, my head in my hands. I looked around the room and walked over to the wall and punched it. I punched it over and over again until I heard the crack beneath my knuckles and until I couldn't feel my hand anymore. I punched the wall until I was so numb I couldn't feel anything anymore. 

***

I walked into school the next week with a purple cast on my right hand. I covered it up with a long sleeve shirt and I covered up the other wombs on my other arm with the long sleeve shirt. I pulled booth sleeves down to the tips of my fingers so nobody could see any of it. 

"Hey! Darcy!"

I heard someone shout my name and I turned around and saw Jacob. I haven't spoken to him in a little while and he looked different. He was sporting some facial hair on his chin and cheeks and his hair was spiked up with gel.

"Hey." I said, stopping and turning fully around to see him.

"How have you been?" He asked, looking me up and down. His eyes lingered a bit on my arms but he didn't say anything.

"I've been taking each day one at a time."

He smiled, "I miss you."

Tears began forming in my eyes and god, do I not need a nervous breakdown in school right now, "I miss you too. I miss you so much."

He opened his arms and I ran into them, wrapping my arms around him and letting out one sob. 

"Did you break you arm?" He asked, grabbing onto my arm that had the cast.

"I did."

"How did you do that?"

I looked away. "I punched a wall."

His eyes brows quirked up, "You punched a wall?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I punched it after I punched Derek in the face."

Jacob's eyes lit up. "Is that where he got the swollen and cut lip from?"

I nodded, proud of myself in some way. "Yeah."

Jacob's eyes lingered to my other arm, "And your left arm? Where did those cuts come from?"

My smile faded and I quickly pulled my sleeves down, "The cat did it."

Jacob's frowned. "Darcy, baby, you don't have a cat."

More tears welled in my eyes and then Jacob was crying and we were both crying in the middle of the fucking hallway. He wrapped his arms back around me and I sobbed into his arms. I hate feeling this way. I don't know how to get it to stop. I'm only human but I feel like I can't take this anymore. I feel like I can't take anything else in my life right now. 

After Jacob talked to me, he took me home and we skipped school. Upon arriving at home, my dad informed me that Uncle Zayn had died.

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Song of Chapter: Between the Wars by Allman Brown