LOVE ME HARDER • jb

13.

Oh who am I trying to fool? 

-

I looked in the body length mirror, my lips pursed to the side as I scanned my outfit. I wasn't really sure if this was appropriate to wear out tonight. It was getting cold out lately with the approaching winter and I didn't want to be out at midnight freezing my ass off. I don't know why I was thinking of wearing a long sleeved white crop top, a green plaid skirt, and white heel boots. I was acting as if this was a great occasion when it really was not. All I was doing was sneaking out of my house and meeting Justin at school.

Okay, so maybe it was important...and bad.

It really wasn't bad to do it, however. It was not like I would get caught. My dad was a rather heavy sleeper, and he went to bed over two hours ago. At this point he had to be knocked out, and my mom was at work until dawn. I had no worries with her. I would be back before then, tucked into my big bed like I had never even left the house. I also had no worries of being told on by Bella. I already told her earlier this morning of my plans and she approved immediately, saying Justin is a ' hot piece of angel'. She was surprised when I told her that I associate with him. I guess it just slipped my mind to tell her because I was so infatuated with Justin.

Shaking my head, I walked away from the mirror kicking my boots off of my feet. I sat on my bed looking at the other outfits I had thrown onto my bed earlier, realizing that almost every outfit I picked were body revealing. What the fvck was I thinking wearing this stuff...

I got off of my bed walking over to my closet and stepping inside. I realized that maybe I shouldn't try so hard to look sexy as fvck for Justin. If whatever is going to happen tonight will turn into something he needs to appreciate me at the times I look ratchet. When I'm not wearing heels, dresses, my hair all done up and make up on point. So, I decided on wearing the outfit that would be both comfortable and warm. I put a pair of black leggings, a white crew-neck with a big doughnut on the front, and a pair of grey-white Nike Roshes. The only sports shoe I will ever wear in my existence. I wiped off every bit of makeup off of my face, and pulled my hair up into a messy bun. I sighed praying that Justin wouldn't make fun of me.

I shouldn't really care what he would think of me though, right? I was just going to get it done and over with...Oh who am I trying to fool?  I was going because I was actually praying to God that I would see more of Justin. I was praying that I would see that hot motherfvcker and kiss his plump lips if he allowed me to. I knew that those were probably his intentions in the first place, but just in case I was going to keep my guard up. At least, I would try too.

I grabbed my phone and bag, slinging it around my shoulder and placing my phone inside of it. Usually I would put it inside of my bra, but it was too big to go in there. It would make my boobs look like they were deformed. I didn't really have boobs to begin with, only a B Cup, and what would I look like walking around with one boob bigger than the other. I shut my bedroom light off and quietly tip-toed out of my room. It was rather dark in the hallways, but with the TV light coming from the living room it helped with not falling down the steps. 

I descended fully down the steps,  furrowing my eyebrows when I thought of why the TV was on. I walked by quietly just in case my father was actually up and not sleeping. I craned my head around the corner letting out a sigh of relief when I realized nobody was in the room. Bella must have left it on before she went to bed.  I shook my head walking into the living room and turning off the TV. I didn't want to waste any more time in the house, so ignoring all the surrounding around me I walked out of my house, quietly shutting the front door before sprinting across the yard to the gate.

After coming back from hanging out with Cierra today, I parked my car outside of the gate. I knew that the gate made a loud noise when someone was leaving or entering and I didn't want to risk being caught. I only knew this because I was woken many times in my sleep because my mother coming home from her late night shifts.