Scars [Ashton Irwin]

Epilogue

EPILOGUE:

It had been 182 days since that day in the waiting room. Since the day that my life fell apart.

I sat at the edge of the cliff, dangling my legs just like she used to, while I flipped through pages of some journals that Ms Quinn let me have.

It had been 182 days since McKenzie drew her last breath. It had been 182 days since I stopped speaking. 182 days since I stopped smiling. 182 days of being dead inside.

I was beginning to forget her voice, and that was what terrified me the most. I didn't want to forget. I had decided 182 days ago that if McKenzie didn't get to speak, then neither would I. I hadn't uttered a single word since then.

I had long since quit and forgotten about the band, and had gone through a stage of heavy drinking. Michael, Calum and Luke still tried as much as they could to help me. But their visits and texts were becoming more and more infrequent as the days went by. I couldn't blame them. The band was growing, and that was what they needed to focus their attention on.

I was so proud of them.

Kellin had been sent to a prison for the criminally insane after he found Mark, and set his house on fire. Mark was, either fortunately or unfortunately (I still hadn't decided), not home at that time. But Kellin did not give up. He found the middle aged man and beat him almost to death. Mark had been in a coma for a month after that, and Kellin confessed to the authorities about his father's death.

I was proud of him too in some ways.

Ms Quinn had suffered a heart attack after McKenzie's death had been announced. She recovered after being kept in the hospital for two days, and has since been dealing with McKenzie's death better than the rest of us. She was doing well for herself. I occasionally visited, just to check up on her. McKenzie would have appreciated that I cared for her mother.

I was proud of Ms Quinn too for being so strong.

I closed the journal that I had been reading through, and kissed it and held it to my chest. I stood to my feet and shifted closer to the edge of the cliff. The thought of jumping crossed my mind for only about the thousandth time in 182 days.

It was the first time that I had come to visit the cliff since she had died. The first time that I had read any one of her journals since Ms Quinn had handed them to me. The first time that I was ready to step over the edge and jump.

But I didn't.

She wouldn't want me to.

I loved her with every ounce of my being. I wanted desperately to escape my pain and to be with her again. But I knew that she wouldn't want me to give in to my grief.

I took a step back, and for the first time, I admired the view of Sydney from my spot near the edge of the cliff. For the first time in 182 days, I felt at peace. I felt like she was standing there admiring the view with me. I didn't feel alone in that moment.

She would always be with me.

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Author's Note

I can not believe that this is the end of Scars. I am so emotional. This story has been my life for so many months, and now it has finally come to an end.

I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time out to read my story. You don't understand how happy this makes me that there were actual people reading what I was writing. I appreciate all the comments. I didn't really respond to comments because I get so awkward and I never really know what to say. But thank you so much to those of you who commented.

Thank you, once again, to @PenguinRanger21 who legitimately commented on every chapter. And her comment on Chapter Thirty-Two made me so emotional. Thank you so much for that. I really do appreciate it.

And also a great thank you to @littlethinqs and @oned19 for their comments that gave me the feels. I appreciate all your comments greatly.

I am currently working on my Michael fanfiction, Heart Out I would greatly appreciate it if you guys could please also read that. I will have the first chapter up by next week probably, but for now I only have the prologue.

Basically, thanks to everyone who has read this story and stuck with it. I feel like I have grown as a writer during the writing process of this story, and my next story will be an improvement from this one.

Thanks for the support. And thank you to Ashton Irwin for existing so that I could actually write this.

I'm gonna go now before things get awkward.

Stay away from men wearing ponchos, and wear clean underwear.

xxx McRee Black